Natural Born Lesbians


12 August 2005

One of the many whacked-out fundamental theories of feminism is that women are subjected to “enforced heterosexuality.” Women’s Studies lecturers drool as they tell their students that females are born lesbians but are forced into repressing their desire to nosh on a big hairy vagina by the Evil Patriarchal State and instead forced to love cock, simply so that the Evil Patriarchal State can force women to become baby-making machines.

After many hours of studying and examining this theory, I can conclusively reveal it to be complete bollocks. The reasons why are as follows:

  1. How on Earth does someone, practically speaking, suppress a child’s hard-wired sexuality?
  2. As women have more of a say in children’s upbringing, surely they would be responsible if this theory was true.
  3. How would the human race have perpetuated itself before the Big Evil Patriarchal Conspirators all had big meeting and said “Hey, in order to get women to have babies, let’s brainwash them into wanting to fuck us instead of each other! Wooooh!”
  4. Isn’t it curious how it would be to the advantage of a sexually frustrated lesbian Women’s Studies lecturer to make nubile 18-year-old girls think that they are actually lesbians and should therefore immediately have sex with another woman…like, say, a sexually frustrated lesbian Women’s Studies lecturer.
  5. Even if we could stop women from wanting to get naked and lick each other all over, why the fuck would we want to? We love watching that shit! We buy videos of them doing it.
  6. All other aspects of feminism are complete nonsense so I don’t see why this theory should be any different.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 5:51 PM

At 5:05 AM, TestSubjectXP said…

Point #4 is the real truth behind it all I’d say. I have yet to hear a heterosexual woman insist that women are born lesbians.

At 9:33 AM, Rob said…

If men could alter women’s sexuality then surely we would just make them bi-sexual, then we can watch them get it on with each other yet we can join in when we’ve tired of just being a spectator.

At 1:55 PM, Anonymous said…

I think about as close as you’ll get to a woman–gay, bi, or straight–is watching a video of it alone in mommy’s basement at 2 a.m. on a Saturday night. Why do repulsively ugly, dateless men take their rage out on women and create insipid websites that blame feminists for all the evils unleashed on the planet anyway? On a side note, there are plenty of women who lead happy, fulfilling lives who never married or had kids. However, your site proves how miserable a male can be when they get no female attention. Remember, a woman needs a man as much as a fish needs a bicycle.

At 5:14 PM, Duncan Idaho said…

Remember, a woman needs a man as much as a fish needs a bicycle.

Yeah, that’s why you all piss and moan about not being able to find husbands, why your lives are so much easier thanks to all the things men invented (cars, planes, computers, televisions, etc) and why you need alimony and child-support to fund your ‘independence’.

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