19 November 2005
Lucy and Erik are getting married!!
No, I don’t know who they are either, but apparently this pair think that their fucking wedding is so fucking great and so fucking Earth-shatteringly important that, by the bright red swinging ball-bag of Beelzebub, the whole world should know about it!!!111
Hence they’ve set up a website about their wedding.
Or, rather, Lucy has. To celebrate landing a well-educated guy to support her.
Weddings, as any sensible man knows, are purely for women’s sake. It’s her Big Day, she chooses the guests, the flowers and the venue, and everybody congratulates her! The groom is left out of the decision making and gets a polite handshake from his mates and told “Congratulations” by men clearly relieved it is not them being hauled down the aisle.
You will note, for example, that there is a section for Lucy’s Hen Parties (yes, parties plural; she had two.) No section for Erik’s Stag Night though. No doubt he wasn’t allowed one. Bad husband-to-be, back in your kennel! Note that one of Lucy’s Hen Parties was in Edinburgh, even though Lucy (although originally a compatriot of mine) is now living in Florida. So, a night out on the town wasn’t good enough for her and her mates (seen right, doing Matrix-style bullet-time), they had to fuck off right across the Atlantic at great expense.
The site is clearly run by Lucy too. Note how Erik’s biography mocks him for being a Michael Schumacher fan. He’s not yet married but his wife-to-be is taking the piss out of his interests (also note how terrified the poor sod looks in that photo; trying to force a smile and look happy whilst he thinks “OMG, WTF! I’m throwing my life away to get hitched to some damn limey slapper!”)
Finally, you will surely note that the website is about their “forthcoming” wedding, scheduled for 14 October 2004. No updates since then, or pictures of the wedding, or any reference to the Big Cunting Day in the past tense.
So maybe it didn’t go ahead.
I hope, for Erik’s sake, it didn’t.
posted by Duncan Idaho @ 7:43 PM
At 8:26 PM, Slaytan said…
All that you write, Duncan, is true, as usual, BUT – in the end it’s still him saying YES.
“OMG, WTF! I’m throwing my life away to get hitched to some damn limey slapper!”
If you’re right, and he really thinks so, then he should just say NO, or face the consequences!
At 8:40 PM, Duncan Idaho said…
Good point, but perhaps he’s just not yet built up an immunity to shaming language and persistent nagging.
“If you were a real man then you would marry me. You’re obviously afraid of an independent woman like me. My friend got married last month, her man did the decent thing. Why can’t you make me happy? You’re obviously just immature and not a real man, etc, etc.”
Women say shit like that for the simple reason that it still works on most men.
At 10:51 PM, Slaytan said…
“Women say shit like that for the simple reason that it still works on most men.”
And this is the part which saddens me the most. We wouldn’t be where we are (concerning gender relations), if it weren’t for so many men who ALLOW that stuff to work. Stupidity isn’t the right word for this, I don’t know what I’d call it, but these men seem to be “willing” to be treated the way they are, just so they can continue being pussy-mesmerized. It’s a vicious circle and they don’t seem to mind being a part of it. At least not until it’s too late.
Add alpha males and chivalrists on top of that, and we have what we have today.