Steamy Sunday morning tarts


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16 October 2005

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Having once again forgotten to go bed last night thanks to being absurdly addicted to Civ III, I caught this cheery lady beaming away on my television circa 6:00AM on Channel Five, merrily presenting crap cartoons featuring talking helicopters.

In the name of Almighty Zarquon, why oh why have children’s television schedulers only now finally realised that even pre-teen boys want to see hot birds with nipples almost poking out their T-shirts? Why couldn’t they have put women like this on Children’s BBC two-decades ago? If chicks this hot had been presenting kid’s TV when I was 11-years-old then I wouldn’t have had to satisfy my lust for lusty ladies by hunting for porn mags under hedges, tearing my skinny little arms up with nasty thorns and stinging nettles in doing so.

When I was a kid, all I had in between cartoons was Philip bloody Schofield and Gordon the cunting Gopher. We didn’t have none of these grinning flirty babes that today’s kids have.

To be fair, though, the cartoons back in the late 1980s were far better than those kids have these days. I mean, Ulysses 31 and Dangermouse are infinitely better than Pokemon and Beyblade. And that Yu-Gi-Oh is just totally fucking stupid.

I guess things weren’t as bad in the old days as I previously imagined. We just had to work for our porn back then!

These kids today, with their sexy TV presenting chicks, their interweb and their 300-Kbps streaming Anal Felch-Fest Bitches videos on demand. They don’t know they’re born. Etc.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 6:10 AM
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