02 February 2006

Monty in £15m divorce settlement

Scotland’s Colin Montgomerie has agreed a £15m divorce settlement with his former wife, according to reports.

Fifteen-bastard-million-squid!! Holy shit.

The Times newspaper reported that the Ryder Cup star’s ex-wife Eimear agreed to a one-off payment out of court – thought to be half his personal wealth.

Half his personal wealth? Why? Did she earn half of it? Did she? No, didn’t think so.

In return, she agreed to waive the right to claim on his future earnings.

Oh, how gracious of her. Such kindness, such generosity that she won’t try to steal more money off of him. Greedy whore.

The couple divorced in September 2004 when Mrs Montgomerie accused her then husband of unreasonable behaviour due to his “obsession” with golf.

This “obsession” is why he got good enough at it to be able to become a multi-millionaire. Maybe he could have not bothered with golf and just got a 9-to-5 job in an office and, instead of playing golf, stayed at home to pamper Mrs Montgomerie and give her lots of attention.

Then she would have no doubt divorced him for not providing her with the millionaire lifestyle she was so used to.

Stay single guys.

(That goes for non-golfers too, obviously.)

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 7:16 PM

%d bloggers like this: