Ms Heartbeat


11 December 2005

In a moment of vanity I threw “eternal bachelor” into Google to see if this blog came up. Indeed it did. I also found this page, a request for advice from a middle-aged bachelor who is dating a fifty-something woman who has been divorced three times, together with the response from an Agony Aunt “Ms. HeartBeat.” Basically, this single guy wants to know whether to marry his aging thrice-divorced woman friend – who he doesn’t love much anyway – just because she is pressuring him to marry her.

As one can imagine, Muzz Heartbeat throws herself into a fit of shaming language and anti-male bile.

Here’s her “advice”:

I firmly believe that a mature man knows within 3 months of dating a woman if she is THE ONE or not. This is not to say that is wants to do something ABOUT it at that time, but he knows! Now in your case, with your age, maturity and life experience at work, you CERTAINLY know within a full year if this woman is the one for you or not!

Blah blah. Typical Fem-think; it’s all about emotion, not logic or anything grounded in reality. She takes it upon herself to declare how she “firmly believes” that men should “know” if some woman is “THE ONE.” How the fuck does she “know” this? And what’s this crap about the search for “THE ONE”? This isn’t The Matrix.

I think you are just stuck in a comfortable rut, afraid to move forward because you are selfish (not used to sharing your time, life or space with anyone if you don’t want to), and used to being single and by yourself with the exceptional freedom that being single brings.

Gasp! Shaming language and accusations of selfishness! I didn’t see that coming.

Like the majority of women, she thinks that a man is “selfish” for not wanting to share his life with someone he doesn’t want to share it with. At least she has the brains to observe the “exceptional freedom that being single brings.” Ah yes, I know that freedom so well. And will continue to do so for many years to come.

I say you are selfish because you, like so many other men I see, want the BENEFITS of having a wife – someone to love you, have sex with, companionship, care about you, give to you, etc. but when its time for you to step up to the plate and give her something back that she wants or needs, you balk and back up. đŸ˜¦

Fucking what? Back up yourself you shit-spouting sack of hazy-brained offal. Men want the benefits of having a wife but don’t want to “give her something back” do we? Huh? Most men go out of their way to make women happy before they’re married, taking her on dates, buying her gifts, showering her with compliments and so on, and then provide and protect her after they’re married, and are forced to do so once she’s divorced him. Yet very rarely these days do women give men something back or even care about our wants and needs. So it’s the other way round you twat. Women these days believe relationships revolve entirely around them and their vast limitless demands and needs, but any man who expects something in return is a chauvinist pig!

Most of the rest is patronizing rhetoric and total shit. Fuck knows what this Joe ended up doing, but quite frankly any guy who goes out with a fifty-something woman who has been divorced three times is a fuckwit. The sort of fuckwit who requests the advice of an Agony Aunt named “Ms. Heartbeat.”

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 11:17 PM

At 12:07 AM, DennisB said…

No guy should ever write a female advice columnist, ever. In a way this guy got what he deserved with that answer. He should know better. Bartenders probably have better advice. My college profs actually used to give me good advice on women — all unsolicited but appreciated.


At 3:45 AM, Anonymous said…

At least the poor bastard asked for advice. So many guys are so starved for attention, they just go on automatic. Shortly after, they wake up in a marriage that makes solitude look like heaven.


At 6:55 AM, Slaytan said…

Joe, how much is 2 + 2????


At 4:15 PM, Anonymous said…

Ms. Heartbeat does give good advice it seems:

There are some gems in there:

“I am Dating a Drug Dealer and Didn’t Know!” Didn’t real read this… title was just funny don’t know why?

“Since all Black Women Hate Black Men or Have a House Full of Kids, I’m Thinking of Dating White…”

“Can I Get Pregnant From Having Oral Sex?” She answered that one quiet well. It seems my girlfriend was lying.

“Can it Go from A SexShip to a Friendship?” SexShip.. how witty and clever. However the advice being sought is a depressing read.

No seriously… I mean it. Some of her advice do seem good.
Baniadam (sorry for playing devil’s advocate on this one)


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