Synthetic Women

18 December 2005

One of the most significant things of note about many women today is how fake they are.

They often bleach or dye their hair, or streak it. They wear make-up to cover up blemishes and spots, apply lipstick to make their lips redder and there’s even an increasing trend to wear tinted contact-lenses to change the colour of their eyes.


Then there’s shoulder-pads in their jackets to make them look as if they have broad-shoulders (for reasons known only to themselves) and wonderbras to make their tits look bigger than they really are.

There are fake eyelashes and fake nails to wear. They pluck out their eyebrows and then, bizarrely, draw them back in again.

They wear high-heels to make themselves appear taller.

Let’s not forget their love of plastic surgery, to change the shape of their noses, suck out their arse fat to avoid the effort of having to actually diet, and even procedures to give them bigger lips, despite the risk of it fucking up spectacularly, as Lesley Ash amusingly discovered. There are also boob jobs and even a new type of laser surgery to seal up their hymens again in the desperate hope of erasing a prolific sex life full of bad-boys when they decided it’s time to sucker a nice guy down the aisle.


Even their personalities seem fake, with women desperately trying to adapt and change their behaviour and attitudes to fit some blueprint they picked up from someone else. I know twenty-something women who insist they don’t want to get married and have kids, who claim that having children is not for them because “I put my career first, I’m not going to be an old-fashioned baby-making housewife, grrr”, yet they get so excitable and broody when a mother with a baby comes within fifty-feet they look as if they’re about to snatch the kid and run off, screaming “Mine! Mine! I want a likkle bay-beeeh!” It’s a constant battle between their biological urges and whatever urges some feminist University lecturer or talkshow host told them they should have.

And yet, after all this fakery and and alterations and silicon, and all these fake attitudes, these synthetic women have the nerve to demand “a real man!”

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 8:30 PM

At 7:57 PM, Field Marshall Watkins said…

Hey mate, I’ve been sitting here reading your blogs all evening, great stuff, but this particular post is a work of art. I couldn’t have put this subject in a better way. I commend you my friend.

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