14 April 2006
Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell – the fat old one – is pregnant.
Not that I read Hello of course, but I did notice the magazine being read by a secretary at work yesterday, and spied the cover quote from the preggers Geri:
The baby is a happy accident and I am going it alone by choice.
Okay, first off, getting pregnant is not an accident. It never is. I’m sick of hearing women refer to pregnancies as being ‘accidents’. It’s another way of them trying to avoid responsibility for their actions.
Here’s how a pregnancy could be an accident.
Geri is driving down the road in her Spicemobile. She drives over a nail, the front tire bursts, the Spicemobile swerves into a tree. Geri wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and flies out of her chair. The sunroof is open. Geri flies out of the sunroof, shrieking with terror. She flies towards a sperm-bank. In booth #34, Mr Sperm Donor thinks “Donating all this pod-porridge is hot work” and opens a window. Geri flies in, her Union Jack dress having ridden up and her knickers having fallen down as she flew through the air. Through the window she goes, legs flapping behind her head, and she lands cunt first onto the plastic cup full of Mr Sperm Donor’s cock-snot which promptly inseminate her.
Okay, now that would be an accidental pregnancy. However, ladies, finding out you’re pregnant after fucking some guy without either of you using protection is not an ‘accident’. And there’s no point in women banging on about it “takes two to tango” because that crap is only bought out when it comes to portioning out blame and child support demands (although, bizarrely, even though it “takes two to tango” it’s only one – the man – who gets the blame and the financial responsibility.) Furthermore, women have the pill, abortion and the option of keeping their damn legs shut until they’re married, so they can shut the fuck up before they start banging on about ‘accidental pregnancies’ and how men should take all the responsbility for them.
Also, she says she is “going it alone.” In other words her kid will be a bastard without a father. Poor sod. She says this is “by choice” but no doubt, when the kid is older and she’s in financial difficulties because the royalties from those shitty yoga videos are drying up, it’ll be “the father of my child dumped me, I had to go it alone, boo-hoo.”
No doubt plenty of women will read this and think “Hey, kids obviously don’t need fathers, I think I’ll go it alone by choice when I get pregnant…until I need Child Support of course.”
But then many women seem to think that anyway, hence the huge number of bastards being whelped in this country.
posted by Duncan Idaho @ 9:51 AM
At 6:36 AM, Anonymous said…
This is disgusting and must have been written by an uneducated conservative jackass. Pregnancies can be accidents you fool. A woman on birth control paired with condom use can still become pregnant. You also said that a woman can just keep her legs shut until marriage, well then shouldnt men keep their dicks behind their zippers too. Come on you idiot, take a look around and see that what you are saying is a load of shit.