Feminist Mags for Lads


28 June 2006


Read the very top line in that picture; that’s what the BBC thinks of us men.

The clickable alternative ‘lad mag’

Oh dear, it appears some miserable leftie MP bitch has decided Lad’s Mags are horribly degrading to women and, even worse, young boys may read them and be corrupted. Absolutely pathetic.

I did a post a while ago on Lad’s Mags and I obviously wasn’t impressed with them. It may seem odd that I may seem to defend Lad’s Mags, but I’m not. My problem is that that, first of all, the BBC sees fit to have a patronizing anti-male article about this whereby, just for fun (at the expense of men), they have decided to let a load of feminist whores write what they would like to be in a lad’s mag.

Secondly, these women have almost the exact same infuriating attitude as the Lad’s Mags they condemn. My primary complaint about Lad’s Mags is that they seem to think that us men should base our entire lives and self-worth around Almighty Vagina Owners. Albeit with different motives and methods, these whining women do the same bloody thing! Admittedly they do differ in that the magazines give you advice on how to get a quick shag, and these femmies want to advise you on how to get a woman to commit to (and worship and spend money on) but it’s still the same thing; you must have a woman! Also, feminists have essentially created the hedonistic society in which these magazines prosper!

Similarly, these women, and the Lad’s Mags they condemn but end up emulating, both have a stupid, one-dimensional view of men; beer, footie, women.

Also, note how – especially in the utterly pathetic cartoon – they seem to obsess with the magazines being “degrading to women.” The irony is that this BBC article is degrading to men. Women’s magazines are degrading to men. The whole media, womyn’s studies, etc are degrading to us.

All the Lad’s Mags do is pay some Z-list women to pose in their underwear for men to gawp at (admire, even) and that is somehow degrading, yet women can condemn men as stupid, rotten, filthy, evil, even put adverts in newspapers implying we’re all violent animals (see previous post), portray us as stupid in the media, show us being punched, slapped and kicked in the balls by women, spread propaganda to schoolgirls that boys are thick…and yet that’s not degrading, that’s “empowering” or “just a bit of fun.” Yet how outrageous us men are for looking at a picture of a woman with her tits out!

One woman does almost get on the same wavelength as me when she hints of how these magazines can seem insulting to men by portraying as dumb animals, but otherwise all she and her bitch friends care about is that they, as women, feeeee-hul bad about these magazines so They Must Go! More censorship, more rules, more banning, more silencing of anything men say!

Another makes a big deal of a competition in one magazine for guys to win cosmetic surgery for their girlfriends. This was only one item in one magazine though. Furthermore, I certainly agree with the fact that a guy who tries to pressure a girlfriend or wife into having cosmetic surgery when she doesn’t want it is a complete shit, but then again that’s not really different from women and their endless manipulation and nagging, for which they can receive tips from their endless magazines. And for the record, I think women with cosmetic surgery look totally stupid, not to mention the fact that most women actually do it of their own free will.

And so what if young boys can read them? Have you ever scanned the covers of magazines aimed at young girls? Probably not, but if you do, they seem splashed with article headlines along the lines of how to make boys jealous, how to win boys over, how to be the centre of attention…all how to manipulate boys (and other girls, to an extent.) In schools the feminist teachers spread their anti-male hate to girls at a young age, yet somehow anything that may offend women – like pictures of them! – must be kept away from boys, in case they grow up to be, I dunno, rapists or something.

Another thing, if they think it’s almost pornographic to have pictures of women’s cleavage in magazines, they should look around at the average street in Britain, or indeed in the average office. So many young women dress like whores; tit and bum-cleavage flashing everywhere, thongs riding right up from low-slung jeans, bellies spilling out of tight tops. Strange how women are just being “empowered” and “expressing themselves” when they flash as much flesh as possible, but, as soon as a man or boy glances in their direction – and, heaven forbid, appreciate the view – she is being degraded. Also, if she’s being paid to flash her flesh, then she’s virtually being raped!! Oh nooo!

Also, one woman suggests Lad’s Mags should have pictures of men on the cover instead of women! Why? This is what women have on their magazines; pictures of women. This is because they’re so self-absorbed. To paraphrase the very eloquent Richard Ford, us men look out on the world, as if we were gazing through a window; women ignore the world and gaze at a mirror.

Anyway, here’s some, ahem, “comedian” and her attempt to write an article on how men can best impress women who we can win over and commit too (but without, curiously enough, actually giving any reasons why on earth we would want to.)

by Kate Smurthwaite, comedian

Behaving as laddishly as possible is hardly a good way to meet the girl of your dreams. Here are some tips that might apply to real women.

Actually, being “laddish” (drunken, loud, abusive, disrespectful to women) seems to work very very well. Furthermore, what exactly is a “real” woman. I thought feminists only seemed to know what a “real man” is.

Stay sober. Forget about nipping out first for some “Dutch courage”. The last thing women will be impressed with is you staggering in slumped over your mate’s shoulder and singing lewd songs.

Who cares about impressing women? When it comes to relationships, women have to impress us men! After all, men bring lots to the table in relationships and are expected to do so much; providing and protecting being the main things. Women bring nothing but their cunts and their demands.

Find women-friendly places. Dance classes (with everything from salsa and hip-hop to ballroom on offer) are often 80% or more women, and they’ll all be looking for a partner. And if you actually learn how to dance, you’re going to be one up on the competition.

Or, work at the BBC, in the civil service, or in marketing, office administration or just any job that warrants little skill, hard work or competence. Such places are infested with women. In fact I like to try and spend a lot of my free time away from women; I have to put up with them and their inane chatter and men-hating blithering all day at work. The last thing I want is to put up with it in the evenings.

Make friends. Don’t be put off if the object of your desires doesn’t seem interested in leaping straight into bed. If things are going to work out with you you’re going to be spending a lot of time together so you might as well be friends to start with.

“Let’s just be friends for a while” = “Wait until my current ‘laddish’ boyfriend has dumped me, then I’ll hook up with you and your wallet, sucker!”

Offer she can’t refuse. Don’t rack your brains trying to figure out mystically what women want – ask her. If she’s starting a new job offer to pick her up on the first day. If she’s moving house, offer to drive the van and carry boxes.

Hah! Give women lifts? Drive vans? Carry boxes? Fuck off. Once again, women have to impress us, and at the moment they don’t.

Unless she means give women an offer they can’t refuse in the way Don Corleone means: “Go outta with me or wake up with a horse between your legs, capice?

Actually, on second thoughts, that sounds like a seriously fluffed chat-up line from a GQ-reading twat.

Remember women are human too. There’s nothing to be scared of.

Ah, some shaming language! Couldn’t go an article, no matter how brief, without it, can we? Yes, any man who doesn’t bother chasing after women and trying to impress them must be “scared.” Ooooh, look at me, I’m quaking in my anorak! Shiver, quiver, etc.

Swot up. Women don’t want to hang out with mace-wielding Neanderthals. Read the newspaper, or at least watch the news. Have something to talk about. Also, knowing a bit about the history of women’s rights will impress her and reassure her that you’re not just looking for a full-time sock-darner. Check out our factbox to get you started.

Yeah right! Women crawl over tattooed aggressive thugs hanging out on street corners to get at bespectacled swotty nerds who sit in their bedroom reading newspapers, don’t they? Well…they do when the women in question have been fucked-and-chucked and a sucker is needed to support them and any bastards they may have. Also, when was the last time you encountered a woman who was smart, who knew anything about current affairs beyond who is up for eviction in Big Brother this weekend?

Jeez! How thick does this women think we are?

It’s either very sad or very cute that she thinks that nice smart guys get women. At least the Lad’s Mags endlessly repeated advice that you should be a drunken obnoxious prick if you want a shag actually works! Sadly.

The irony is that being a nice, smart and loyal guy used to get you a woman – a nice, smart and loyal woman for that matter – but then feminism came along and removed any disincentive for women to go out with thugs and losers and encouraged them to have one-night-stands and whelp illegitimate bastards and, generally, act like utter whores. Ironically these same women who moan about men who view women as purely sex objects are the same feminists who encouraged women to act like sex objects in the first place! Either the women writing for that article are all fucking dumb or they’re all old dried-up fucked-and-chucked singly mummys wanting to recruit an army of nice guys, now that they’ve spent a decade or two as cum-rags for, well, for want of a better expression, mace-wielding Neanderthals.

And as for learning about the history of women’s rights…heh! This woman can be assured that me and many readers of this blog know a great deal about this. Hence our hatred of hypocritical feminist filth. They obviously want men to just be brainwashed by feminist lies so we’ll accept being treated like shit by women because their grandma’s couldn’t vote or some such shit. However, men who take a look into feminism and women’s rights and see the lies, anti-male hatred and socialist foundations will be more anti-feminist and more likely to avoid relationships with Western Women than men who are ignorant of feminism and think of it as some sort of nice friendly push for equality.

I still regard Lad’s Mags as rubbish and generally unreadable because they insist us men should slobber after women, as if our lives should revolve around them. Likewise, these feminists pretty much think the same thing. The main difference is that Lad’s Mags encourage you to go after women so that their advertisers can sell their products with the message buying this will get you women! On the otherhand, feminists seem to regard women as the product to be advertised themselves; you need women. Worship women! Getting one and worshipping her is a reward in itself!

Fuck off.

The main thing that is annoying, though, is just the article itself. Some criticism of Lad’s Mags put forth in an objective tone would be fine. I could even agree if it ran parallel to my own. Even if it trotted forth criticisms I didn’t agree with (“They denigratedwomen!!”) I’d still just overlook it. Instead they have to have a big project, spending licence payers money to get a load of men-hating bitches to insult men, try to manipulate us and, most of all, to continue the lie that feminism is somehow anything other than a pile of disgusting bigotry and lies. This is what really bothers me; not that they’re having a go at silly Lad’s Mags but that they think that every pathetic whine that emits from women (they don’t roar much, despite their demands to hear them do so, do they? All I hear is whining) is a great excuse for another man-bashing session.

And how come this blogger, Kate whatsername, get’s to write for the BBC? She isn’t funny. She’s not a comedian. She just wrote a load of crap that’s insulting to men and…oh wait, I guess that explains why she got to write for the BBC!

There’s a chance to offer your opinions. Here’s one I put forth, although it has yet to be published (although it probably won’t be, but you never know.)

How about we have a load of men writing a sexist and patronising version of women’s magazines, with articles like “How to cook better”, “101 Reasons not to dress like a prostitute at the office” and “Why women are far, far more sexist than men?”

Oh no, but we can’t have that, can we BBC? It’s only fine to insult and abuse men, not women. You’re a disgusting organisation, run by women, for women.

I don’t buy Lad’s Mags, but if other people want to buy them, fine. However, feminists – disgusting people that they are – want to destroy every shred of masculinity in this society.

And any feminist filth who are thinking of e-mailing me to burp “can’t you take a joke, it’s just a bit of fun (insert random shaming language here)” can fuck right off then fuck off some more. Have a nice day.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 5:12 PM

At 9:55 PM, Anonymous said…

haha… that’s one of the best blog posts I’ve ever read. Good on ya! Nothing less than those shameless hypocrites deserve.


At 10:58 PM, Anonymous said…

This is Kate Smurthwaite…. what a sweetie:


And her pic in close-up, just to make everyone even more horny:


-for Americans reading – this is an example of that ironic British humour we do from time to time…-


At 11:48 PM, Anonymous said…

Really, these things are little more than erotic fantasy. We know real people aren’t (or at least shouldn’t be) like this. As such, they really shouldn’t be taken so seriously by anyone.

I mean, I like watching Star Trek and reading fantasy novels. Does that mean I am misanthropic because I don’t live in a near-utopian interstellar society, or because I can’t huck fireballs when it suits me? NO! Same deal with these mags. They portray an unrealistic vision of people, but they are supposed to.


At 1:47 AM, Ed Hutch said…

Thank you for another excellent post, your blog is one of the best blogs on the net, keep up the good work!

I am in Canada, and I had a kid with a woman who grew up in England, she has followed in her mothers footsteps and has turned my son into a bastard!

From what I can tell English chicks are about a million times more fucked up than your average woman, at least mine was.

Thank you for spreading truth and shining light on the greedy feminist government policy which is the shit that stinks!

You english lads must have a lot to complain about as you are so well represented, you, the Captain, Richard, Cool tools, AH, and who else? Fred X, is he english? I read them all.


At 8:36 AM, Captain Zarmband said…

Lads Mags are like all magazines in that they rely mainly on advertising for their revenue and not the people who buy the mag. Therefore, the magazine’s content is controlled by female-friendly corporations who use these mags to get their message across. I have long voiced the opinion that large corporations constantly pander to females because they are more easily manipulated by advertising. Women are greedy consumers and make 85% of buying choices (usually using men’s money to make their purchase). Lads mags are an extension of this principle in that they extol the female dominated male caricature which is ever present in advertising. The idea is that men hand over our money to be spent by “superior” women and these women can then be tempted by the advertiser’s product.

Lads mags are indeed a contradiction in that they claim to be aimed at men when in reality they are merely serving their corporate masters who constantly strive to attain female superiority because this suits the corporate conspiracy. Corporations want families, relationships and money controlled by females because these women will freely spend this money with greedy corporations who pander to “female needs”. The fact that lads mags have naked women in them should not hide their real agenda. These tatty mags are nothing to do with male empowerment and everything to do with corporate greed and manipulation.


At 4:02 PM, ChicagoMan said…

You know, women are a walking contradiction.

Women ARE NOT attracted to nice sensitive men. They are attracted to MEN. Millions of years of biology will not be overthrown by what the popular culture says they should take.

Women want the bad boys and just like everything in their lives being a lie (you know make up, high heels, push up bras), they try to feminize men and tell them that’s what they want.

You know what, when I act like an alpha male man and don’t care about what otehrs think, women flock around me. When I’m nice and sensitive, they screw you over.

I’m tired of these bullshit articles in men’s magazines.

We need a real man’s magazine.

Table of contents:
1. New high tech gadgets for MEN
2. Workout or Health things
3. How the courts are raping men
4. How to spot a gold digger
5. Why women lie and how to spot them
6. Why every woman will sleep with you when you treat them like a dirtbag
7. Why women only think of themselves
8. Women are masters of deception

Fuck the politically correct nonsense. It is up to us men to tell things the way they really are.


At 8:20 PM, Darren Blacksmith said…

There are about 5 of these type of men’s magazines. Maximum. In contrast there about 100 shallow women’s magazines with unhealthy obsessions like soap operas (and their dark, nihilistic storylines), manipulating men through using make-up and psychological tactics, and I’ve seen magazines for young pre-teen girls with photo-spreads of topless, almost naked male pop stars.

If women were as ‘visually’ turned on as men there would be non-stop naked men in women’s magazines. Women are not more “moral” than men, its just they aren’t turned on by visuals so much, and they try to make men ashamed of the fact that we are.


At 3:31 AM, Anonymous said…

During the patriarchy beta males thrived and the whole society benefited.

In the matriarchy only alpha males thrive. Males geared toward fucking and fighting and little else. Matriarchal societies collapse into sewers (e.g., ghettos, Indian reservations, Haiti).


At 2:51 AM, Anonymous said…

Women rely on men in a symbiotic (erm parasitic) relationship. Women NEED men to act nice so they can enact said parasitism upon them or they DIE.

The irony is that while they need men like this, they cannot relate to them or respect them.

Congratulations to feminism getting so out of hand that this has been brought to our attention.


At 12:12 AM, HAWKEYE said…

the truth is ,that these photos of good looking woman make them feel insecure about there body image,and therefor must be abuse.


At 10:46 PM, Phemisaurus Terribilis said…

Wow. The world is just full of misogynists isn’t it. How delightful.


At 1:31 AM, Anonymous said…

Poor bitch. You need a shag.

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