Desperate skank in the personals


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15 July 2006

I had another giggle through the Seeking Him ads in the Personals section of the local paper. The very first ad I looked at was an outrageously optimistic specimen indeed.

Here’s a few highlights of her profile:

Age: 35
Status: Single, never married
Body type: Curvaceous
Body art/piercings: Pierced ears; Pierced tongue; More piercings; A tattoo or two
Has Children: Yes, living with me
Wants Children: No
Occupation: Unemployed

She actually lists her height as “5ft 4in to 5ft 7in”. Does she grow and shrink in the sun or something? WTF?

Most bizarrely of all are the personality traits listed:

Easy going; Funny; Intelligent; Moody; Outgoing; Outrageous; Quiet; Sarcastic; Shy; Wild & Crazy

I’m honestly having difficulty imagining an outgoing sarcastic quiet woman who is wild and crazy. And shy.

She apparantly wants a guy who is single and has no children, who is 30 – 50, professional and “loving.” Whatever.

Not exactly realistic in her expectations, is she?

She’s basically a fat, tattooed, used-up fucking skank single-mother whore who doesn’t want (and probably can’t have anyway) any more children, who is looking for a reasonably wealthy guy who doesn’t want to pass on his genes but instead is willing to basically invest his life in bringing up and supporting this cunt and her bastard brats. A guy who is also willing to put up with a wild, crazy, quiet, outgoing shy woman, which quite frankly sounds as schizo as that mad looney woman in Misery. The one who knacked in James Caan’s legs with a sledgehammer.

I doubt if she’ll receive any replies.

Altogether now: “There are no good men left!!11!!one!

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 5:24 PM

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At 7:03 PM, Tony Sclafani said…

This actually does not sound so bad. Because had this personal been posted in the good old USA, it would have had all her bad stuff, plus the standard height Nazi requirement (5’10” or over) and the salary Nazi requirement (over $60K). Unless you left that part out!

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At 8:12 PM, Anonymous said…

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
She has her tongue pierced!!!

*vomits*

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At 1:29 AM, Anonymous said…

She will get many replies from desperate men. Look at these numbers:

In the 15-64 age group, number of men in the UK: 20,476,571

Number of women: 19,988,959

Surplus men: 487,612

Women have all the power, and even a slut like this will get hordes of men.

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At 8:54 AM, Anonymous said…

Women only have power because there are too many stupid men that give it to them. If you cut yourself off from society, women have no power over you.

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At 10:48 AM, Anonymous said…

At least the Personals are good for a laugh, as opposed to the depressing nature of most news these days. And see how this personal points out that “modern” women are total herd animals with no minds of their own? – tattoos, piercings, all the “I’m-a-slave-to-whatever-stupid-trend-comes-down-the-pike” things that forever brand women as irrational and nonsensical.

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At 3:37 PM, Davout said…

Sure the no. of men could be in excess of women by half a million. However, when you take into consideration how many woman and men are truly eligible i.e willingly complementary to each other, the balance swings strongly in favor of men.

Sensible guys will never make the acquisition of a woman as their number one priority. Of course, women always want to be the center of a man’s attention and can’t stand the fact that most modern men hold them to higher standards than they want. Statistically, more women than men want children, so it’s time to band together and let women do the running after us.

Women, these days, increasingly bemoan their own failure to evoke any interest from eligible men, the loss of chivalry, lack of ‘commitment’ from men and the onset of ‘slacker men’ who don’t have any interest in fueling the love economy. This is clear evidence of the ‘man shortage’.

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At 3:56 PM, Duncan Idaho said…

Or, to put it another way, there’s a gullible fool shortage!

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At 3:33 PM, Anonymous said…

“Women only have power because there are too many stupid men that give it to them. If you cut yourself off from society, women have no power over you.”

Yep. The whole raison d’etre for a female is to mate with a man. Every waking moment revolves around how can she get attention from men. Choices in dress, cosmetics, behavior all are calculated to get attention from men, in general, or a specific man, in particular. Her wedding day is the pinnacle of her planning efforts. Want to destroy women? Ignore them. I’ve been experimenting with going out and making a conscious effort to NOT make any eye contact with females. Interesting reactions, to say the least…

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At 3:38 PM, Anonymous said…

“Women, these days, increasingly bemoan their own failure to evoke any interest from eligible men, the loss of chivalry, lack of ‘commitment’ from men and the onset of ‘slacker men’ who don’t have any interest in fueling the love economy. This is clear evidence of the ‘man shortage’.”

Another example of their inability to understand cause-and-effect. Prior to the 1960s this was not a problem for the vast majority of women. After 1970s this is becoming more and more a problem for the vast majority of women. They whine about their predicament, but can’t think through what happened. If this is not evidence that women have the limited reasoning powers of children or animals then I don’t know what is.

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At 12:12 PM, BG said…

Hey where did you read this personal?

I want to meet this girl!!

She has everything a guy could ask for!!!!
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