Personal ads


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02 July 2006

Personal ads are a simple way of observing the outrageous entitlement complexes that women seem to have. Most evidently live in a fantasy world, one identical to Chick Flick Land, where eligible bachelors eagerly marry slut-bag cum-rags in their thirties.

It’s also interesting to note how the Seeking Him sections are getting larger than the Seeking Her sections day by day. Women are getting desperate and men are running away; yet women, at the height of their arrogance, are refusing to lower their standards.

I glanced through the personal ads in my local paper for a laugh today, wondering if there was anyone I could use an example for this post. The very first ad I set my eyes upon was a perfect example! It’s of some 33-year-old single-mother. She’s a secretary, never married, has a 10-year-old boy from a “previous relationship that’s just ended” and describes herself as “cuddly”.

If a woman claims she is “cuddly” in her personal ad, that means she’s plain ol’ fat. In fact it invariably means she’s physically similar to Cthulhu.

In fact, imagine Cthulhu with big flappy tits and a tramp-stamp. We’re getting close to your average man-hungry Britskank here.

Anyway, back to our cuddly woman who is Seeking Him. In describing her ideal Him, she says:

My ideal match would have the looks of Brad Pitt, the humour of Peter Kay and the bank balance of David Beckham (and legs like him too!)

But hey i’m realistic – must have a good sense of humour, easy going, have decent music taste, enjoy the company of friends, be loyal, romantic and be able to handle the demands of a girl like me – crikey am I still asking for to much!

Erm…so she claims she’s realistic but is expecting a handsome, witty and rich man? What eligible man of such a description would want to date a fat thirty-something single mother? Jeez, fuck off.

Note how she demands a man be able to “handle the demands of a girl like me.” The sub-heading of her ad is “Are you up to the challenge?

You see this a lot in women’s personal ads, describing themselves as “a challenge” and demanding a real man who can handle them and their demands. It’s like pre-emptive shaming language, immediately implying that if you’re not interested in them then it’s because you’re frightened, intimidated, not man enough…never because you’re just not interested in her on account of her being greedy and ugly, or that she’s not bringing anything in to a relationship except occasional access to a big slimy hairy orifice, a long list of whiny demands and perhaps some other guy’s cast-off illegitimate bastard who needs a daddy.

I might sign up for an online dating site, just to hunt around for the profiles of some greedy entitlement whores so that I can mock them here. And before anyone asks, yes, I do have too much free time.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 12:36 AM
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At 3:09 AM, Anonymous said…

Rafael has a number of funny posts about his experiences in the online dating world. Hope he’s recovering well from his recent surgery.

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At 4:08 AM, Anonymous said…

Are you sure you want to wade into that septic pool of human genetic refuse? You sir, are braver than I. Just reading the local craigslist and personal ads in the paper is enough for me. I don’t scare easy, but some of the ads would make Chthulu cringe.

Icepick the Mad!

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At 11:04 AM, Trescius said…

Lavalife.com has numerous examples from around the world.

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At 11:54 AM, Anonymous said…

Yeah, I love the ones that say they are a challenge and hope to find a “real man” who is “up to it.” … like I WANT to add more bullshit to my life! Maybe it’s just me, but reading these Women Seeking Men blatherings tends to cheer me up – compared to most of these delusional feminazi nutjobs, I’m fricking normal!

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At 12:01 PM, Goatshredder said…

You forgot the ‘good musical taste’ bit. I can count the young women I’ve known outside the Scene whose musical preferences lay outside the top-10, vintage cheese, those godawful Shania Twain-like ’empowerment’ ballads, maybe a little trance, grunge, indie or ‘safe’ rock for the adventurous, on the fingers of one hand.

You play something decent, like Rammstein, or, God forbid, classical and the reaction is like a vampire exposed to the light.

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At 1:27 PM, darkbhudda said…

I guess she’s too much woman for me to handle.

More rolls than a bakery.

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At 2:53 AM, Anonymous said…

I have (technical) challenges all day at work.

Why do I want to come home to some psychotic spoiled brat who wants to spend all night and every weekend mentally raping me?

No thanks.

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At 7:39 PM, Darren Blacksmith said…

Try Match.com it has a wealth of material on there. Although it will send your blood-pressure up to dangerous levels.
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At 8:31 PM, Anonymous said…

Wow… I actually went to match.com and only made it to the front page before I got pissed.

You guys gotta see this:

The “Proud to support the fight against bachelorism.” You guys are right they do see us a complete morons without them.

And please watch it about the “some other guy’s illegitimate boy who needs a daddy.”

If I wasn’t treated like an evil worthless male by my own single mother, I wouldn’t be here so watch it.

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