No sex please, we’re married


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14 August 2006

Passion dies ‘as soon as a woman is sure of her man.’

Or, to put it another way, the sex stops once a woman has trapped her husband in a marriage he cannot leave without serious financial devastation. Which is what most guys, even us bachelors, were aware of anyway.

It’s a common complaint for many couples. However amorous they may have been in the first few years of the relationship, after a while the passion fizzles out.

Now researchers have provided an explanation. Apparently, a women’s libido starts to wane as soon as she feels sure she has got her man.

Significant wording there; as soon as she’s sure she has got her man. That is, embroiled him in a legal contract that he can’t get out of without severe financial ruin. Namely, marriage (and, when the law is changed, co-habitation.)

Scientists have found that after four years in a relationship, fewer than half of women say they want to make love regularly.

In contrast, men’s sexual desire remains just as strong regardless of how long they have been with their partner.

Previously a woman was obliged to have sex with her husband pretty much when he wanted to; this was in return for him being obliged to support her. Now, whilst men still have their obligations and then some (even after marriage) women have no obligations; a man divorcing his wife for being frigid would be laughed at then swiftly deprived of his assets and children and treated like a sexist pig. So women can turn off the ration of sex when they want after marriage.

Men used to marry for sex, women used to marry for financial security.

Now men stay single for sex and financial security.

(Though there is another theory that men stay single because they’re gay, can’t get laid, are womyn-haters, have small dicks, are ugly, etc, but these theories have no evidence and are generally held only by miserable spinsters when faced with yet another man who has woken up to the scam marriage has become.)

This is why it’s important to note that it is not just a case that, for men, the risks of marriage outweigh the benefits; there are really no benefits at all. It’s all risk, obligations and responsibility. Fuck that.

Bachelorhood never looked sweeter.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 4:46 PM
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At 5:11 PM, jay c said…

It gets better. After a few years my wife didn’t care about sex any more. Believing that my vows actually meant something, I stuck it out. Ten years later as we approached our mid thirties, my sex drive had declined somewhat from years of suppression, while hers was going through the roof. Now I’m being cruel and manipulative by not initiating sex often enough. I’m being even more cruel and manipulative by not understanding how she felt for all those years, and “it’s not the same thing at all.” So then she spends half her waking hours on the hunt for other men whom she calls “just friends.”

Uh, huh.

F— that, is right.

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At 5:44 PM, ChicagoMan said…

I so agree and second this post.

This is why for the few of us men that even think they have a decent women, your work is NEVER DONE. Even that small percentage of good ones will STILL pull this one on you.

Why not up the anti, either NEVER get married, or ALWAYS keep her on her toes and remain a challenge.

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At 6:08 PM, Anonymous said…

Duncan,

I can tell you’re frustrated by modern British women.

I can think of a couple of possible evasive measures for one in your predicament. Neither is the nirvana of love with a British girl that you seek, however.

One, is to have relationships with immigrated (non-white) Brits like Muslim girls, who were raised to treat you with honor and fealty.

Two, is to have a relationship with a Jesus-freak who believes she cannot divorce you unless you cheat on her.

Three, emigrate to America or Canada where things aren’t quite as bad.

My friend, on your present course, you will wind up old and alone in your declining years. You’ll be mad at the world (for good reason). Feminism has been a disaster for the west. I honestly think that it originated in the Frankfurt School or the Institute for Social Research in Frankfurt, Germany. I think it was started by Marxist academics, loyal to Soviet Russia, to depopulate the West and harm their economies when the lack of younger generations weakened the pension system enough to make the economy fall. The Soviet Union just didn’t last long enough to see it come to fruition.

Thats why its amazing to me that it’s lasted all this time. A flat or a house should not cost so much that a woman should HAVE to work. Men should be able to easily support their wives and children. She should only get half what the couple earned DURING the marriage if she wants out, with NO support. Children-post-marriage should be shared in JOINT custody, negating the need for any child support. This would cut down on women marrying simply for money and cut down on divorces (and illicit affairs also).

But the scenario above isn’t going to happen. So you are back to points one and two. Find a religious gal of some kind (doesn’t mean you have to believe in a higher power of any kind) and fuck her to death in a happy satisfying marriage. Thats my advice for a guy stuck in a feminazi-ruled Brittania at this point in time.

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At 6:09 PM, Christopher in Oregon said…

Last year, I was introduced to a gal from Mexico who was up in the states. She’s a teacher by profession, and at 35, she was one of the prettiest women I have ever seen. She looked like she was 25. Very quickly -the day we were introduced, no less, the issue of marraige came up. Red flag, right there, eh? We talked about everything, and I was clearly being interviewed for the job of husband. At one point, she slipped up, and assured me that for the first year of marriage, we would have sex “all of the time.” Now, a young guy in his twenties would be thinking, “Wow!”. Young guys are very short-sighted. But, I’m 45. A bit older and wiser, and not quite so desperate, as the sex drive starts to diminish after 30,and really takes a tumble after 40. Plus, she wanted to have children “RIGHT NOW!”, or so she said. Another red flag. I also took her out to my garage, and showed her my new Harley Road King and my almost new BMW R1150R. I’m a motorcycle nut, and everyone knows that who knows me. She took one look at the bikes, and informed me that after we were married, she would “allow me to keep ONE of my motorcycles.”

Allow?

Yep. Another red flag.

So, I dumped her.

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At 10:12 PM, Captain Zarmband said…

In my experience married women have sex regularly, it’s just not with their husband.

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At 10:25 PM, phoenix said…

Whats with these anonymous posters?

“You’ll wind up old and alone.” Yeah, whatever. The non married old guys I know seem to be far from alone, they have several different bachelor pads that they take different women to every night, sometimes they’ll have a different woman in several places. Without a huge financial liability, you generally have the option to live life more fully. Also, if you’re going to start judging people, why not pick an actual name for yourself, and talk about YOUR life? Or should we just make things up for you, the way you did for Duncan, since we don’t know what his life is. From my understanding, he has a gf anyway, or has one or a few on and off. Why do you need to get married exactly? A gf gives you more benefits.

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At 11:58 PM, JadedGuy said…

In response to Anonymous:

Unless you die simultaneously with your spouse, you will “end up alone” too. Life. Dealing with it. Join the club.

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At 11:59 PM, nevo said…

Yes!!!!
This is the story (near enough) of my marriage with that bint.
There is a nasty consequence though with such a behaviour. The children, specially boys, grow up as unruly teenagers.
All kids. without exception, resent to see their fathers being humiliated and demeaned. Their broken spirit will wreak havoc in their young years as they will not accept the authority from anyone, least of all the law, as fatherhood is debased to the point of being irrelevant in their lives.
Hence, Britain will need to build more prisons for the next generation.

NEVO

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At 12:05 AM, Davout said…

What a revolution if marriage could legally be defined as a permanent money-for-sex contract i.e. glorified prostitution! If women decrease their sexual output then men can justifiably be entitled to seek alternative women to make up for the dent in pleasure. This means he would not be committing adultery but just seeking compensation for denied sex. Alternatively, if she is not up to the mark sexually, he should be free to marry another woman who is.

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At 12:14 AM, nevo said…

On that point made ” as soon she’s sure she has got her man” I like to say that it is a fallacy. Most women, as proved by hordes of teenagers which have fallen in love with the likes of Michael Jackson, their idolised man never materialise. They swing too high and unreachable to fulfill their dream of bedding one.
So they have to make do with someone else.
Stay Bachelor!!!!

NEVO

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At 12:53 AM, Anonymous said…

Phoenix,

Not having children of one’s own makes many feel as if they have missed something very rewarding in life, because they have. My suggestion to Duncan offered a couple of ways to have a marriage that didn’t entail the huge financial risks he would run marrying a self-centered-feminazi-brainwashed woman. Sex will not be the centerpiece of your existence as you age, and believe it or not someday you will wish you had grandchildren. But you have to have children to get grandchildren. Dont let the feminazi’s dissuade you from becoming a dad.

Dont let the feminazi’s depopulate the west so immigrants from the third world can take it over from the inside. That would suck, it would no longer be the west.

On Anonynimity, I dont feel like creating a screename and committing a password to memory to comment on one specific blog or another. Call me M

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At 1:39 AM, mfsob said…

What blew me away was when I discovered my marriage actually met the clinical definition for “sexless” – doing it once a month or less for at least a year. Let’s see … hmmmm … so that means 10 out of the 15 years!

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At 3:34 AM, Anonymous said…

I got married to a woman 14 years younger than me; she also had 3 minor kids. The sex was great, the best in my life actually. But the kids decided that they didn’t like my iron-fisted rule: you know, they had to show some respect and all. And I put my wife through nursing school. But once the kids decided, the wife took their side. World’s biggest ingrate, she was. I left.

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At 7:22 AM, phoenix said…

M, you can do what I do, and just click the “Other” circle for your identity, and type in “M” for name. You managed to click Anonymous, so having one extra step where you type a letter should not be too much more troublesome.

M, you make several troubling assumptions, which weaken your post and make it near worthless to most of us. I pointed out one of them, davout I think pointed out another (although I think usually the woman outlives the man, so maybe not a big deal).

Here are a few more: Canada and America are actually pretty bad too. I should know, I live in the States, and Canada is supposed to be even worse according to friends I have there. Also, marrying someone from another culture will not work when they are exposed to a feminist culture. Westernization generally tends to usurp other cultures. Muslim women will be no different after a few years, when they’ve assimilated. You can’t hope to destroy a tree by cutting off a branch, you need to destroy the roots or that branch will just grow back. Feminism just gives women too many advantages, and women simply are hardwired to look after themselves. Women are invariably going to take advantage where they can.

You are either a fool, or a feminist. I suppose they’re one and the same.

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At 10:37 PM, Anonymous said…

Phoenix, this is M………

What do you propose Duncan do?

Not ever marry, and just live alone fucking different women for sport.

NEVER breeding.???????

What if all white British men did that. It would be the end of English England once and for all. We’d disappear from that Island after creating its history since Julius Ceasar conquered it and further back. Thats kinda sad.

Men need to root out and find the good women and still marry if they can, while trying to raise their daughters well, so they wont fall for the feminist ideology of hate towards their brothers and fathers. Going it alone is kind of giving up in my opinion.

By the way, Im the furtherest thing from a gender feminist. I believe in old’ fashioned love like many of our parents and grandparents had with well defined and accepted gender roles and divisions of labor within the home. A nation like Spain, with a birthrate of 1.2 children per female and so few marriages will be a Muslim caliphate in 150 years if this insanity doesn’t stop. Its so sad to me. Western civ must survive and defeat this cruel hoax started by Marxist academics.

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At 2:27 AM, darkbhudda said…

Foreign women will assimilate the local feminist culture. Even if you don’t have TV, they will make female friends who will sabotage your relationship.

Religious women have just as high level of divorce as non-religious. Almost no churches condemn divorce.

Jesus-freaks should not be divorcing you for cheating anyway.

The commandment is not:
Thou shalt not commit adultery.

It is:
Thou shalt not lay with another man’s wife.

It is fine for a married man to have sex with an unmarried woman. Most cultures accepted this. That was the trade off in marriage. She got security, he got sex, if not from her than from someone else.

jay c’s case is what I hear every day from married men. Avoid marriage. When co-habitation laws change, avoid that too. Eternal bachelorhood forever! Yes, that is a tautology I know.

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At 7:09 PM, phoenix said…

M, you still seem to be ignoring the obvious. If all you want to do is breed, why do you need a wife? How do you think all those single mothers came about exactly? But let’s forget that for a second too, I have a friend that has a kid, he made sure to get full custody and everything else beforehand. He is not married. He doesn’t like the woman he had the kid with anymore because she’s getting really bitchy, so he leaves for weeks at a time and will probably kick her out at some point when he can’t stand her anymore. If you just want to breed and have a child, there you go.

You like mentioning old age. How many Western children actually talk to their parents when they grow up? In their parent’s old age? Not many. There is absolutely no guarantee you are not “alone” even with a wife and kids. If your goal is to be “not alone” you can fulfill these goals better by working towards them, rather than mindlessly marrying (which you still have absolutely been unable to show why it is necessary to do so for these alleged benefits).

Not to mention all the problems with marrying a women of a different culture, you will have a lot of culture clashes, and it’s doubtful you will actually be compatible. Just because a woman is a religious freak, or member of another country, does not suddenly make her a pushover that worships you. Their primary concern is religion and their culture, so if you violate these things you will certainly have problems. For instance, I know in Islam you can’t eat pork, drink, or have premarital sex. Why would a woman that follows the religion, er, religiously, want to marry a western man that obviously won’t and hasn’t followed these rules?

There is absolutely no danger of de-population. Duncan not breeding, if it came down to that, isn’t suddenly going to result in what you suggest. Most men still pander pathetically to women. If it ever got to the point that the population simply was not growing the way it should, then the power balance would shift and women would be FORCED to change their ways. The government would begin offering men a lot of benefits in order to have children. Right now offering women the incentives is more than enough to keep the world overpopulated. You act like theres a shortage of people, when the opposite is true. The birth rate could go to 0, and we wouldn’t have a problem for 20 years.

Look, I’m actually getting depressed debating this with you. You’re obviously either a “gender feminist” or simply are too dense to understand simple things. In fact, you’re too stupid to even click the “Other” circle and type one bloody letter into the Name box, and insist instead of using the “Anonymous” function, which is even further to the right than the Other option. I’m done.

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At 2:01 AM, zed said…

M said “What do you propose Duncan do?

What do you propose Duncan do?

Not ever marry, and just live alone fucking different women for sport.

NEVER breeding.???????

What if all white British men did that. It would be the end of English England once and for all. We’d disappear from that Island after creating its history since Julius Caesar conquered it and further back. Thats kinda sad.

Men need to root out and find the good women and still marry if they can, while trying to raise their daughters well, so they wont fall for the feminist ideology of hate towards their brothers and fathers. Going it alone is kind of giving up in my opinion.”

Actually, M, none of us feel the need to propose anything to Duncan, he can make his own decisions – that is what MGTOW is all about.

Fewer and fewer men give a rip whether feminist-controlled cultures die out – in fact, that is exactly what some of us want. Trying to sucker us into breeding more little annuities for women to cash in when they get to “feeling unfulfilled” is probably going to fall on deaf ears among this crowd.

“Giving up”? What a laugh, why is it men’s “job” to fix what the feminists screwed up?

Why haven’t you been saying something about it all these years? And, why are you on a men’s blog instead of on a femnasty site trying to convince them to call off their dogs?

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At 3:42 AM, Kurt, Portland Oregon said…

I have been a lurker for some time. “M”‘s comments have prompted me to break silence and comment.

I am an American national who lived in East Asia for 10 years. I have been married to a Japanese lady for the past 8 years. Both of us are quite happy, our “irrationalities” match, and we do not have nor have the desire for kids.

I think much of the feminazi stuff is real. I know many western women who fit this description. However, I know many other western women who do not fit this description and who actually do make good life-long companions. If you do marry a western women, I think someone who is into any kind of outdoor activity (rock-climbing, surfing, etc.) is the kind of women who is much more likely to be a good life-long companion than someone who wants to live the conventional life-cycle life.

M’s comments about the desirability about kids is totally, utterly completely wrong. Anyone who buys into them is a sucker. Surveys (and my personal anecdotal experience backs this up) consistently show that people who want to have kids and have them are usually happy. People who don’t want kids and who never have them are also happy. I have never met a person who did not have kids and, yet, regretted not having them. I have never encountered such a person. I do not believe that such a person exists on this planet.

The biggest suckers in this world are people who have kids, not because they actually like having them, but who have them because they believe that they owe a “debt” to the greater society.

I do not believe that I owe any kind of “debt” to a greater society. I view the existence of a “greater society” simply as a resource to be utilized in accomplishing whatever I choose to accomplish.

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At 2:38 PM, Masculist Man said…

Why not up the anti, either NEVER get married, or ALWAYS keep her on her toes and remain a challenge.

Excellent advice.

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At 2:40 PM, Masculist Man said…

Three, emigrate to America or Canada where things aren’t quite as bad.

Un, I got news for you, feminism runs rampant here and worse so in Canada so don’t think of these places as sources of refuge.

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At 2:45 PM, Masculist Man said…

Interesting story Christopher but at least she was honest with you instead of the Ameriskanks that lie on everything to entrap you and you can’t do anything about it because it is too late when you do see the honesty of the situation.

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At 2:50 PM, Masculist Man said…

Well,”m”, you are either a woman or a gender traitor. Neither of which we prize very highly and someone we really don’t want to hear from either.

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At 2:57 PM, Masculist Man said…

By the way, I’m the furtherest thing from a gender feminist. I believe in old’ fashioned love like many of our parents and grandparents had with well defined and accepted gender roles and divisions of labor within the home.

All conservatives are just into rigidity of gender roles for men while letting women have their “conservative women’s meetings”,this is proof that there are two wings to feminism: a left one and a right one and they both mean to screw men over,don’t forget that.

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At 5:08 PM, Anonymous said…

The commandment is not:
Thou shalt not commit adultery.

It is:
Thou shalt not lay with another man’s wife.

It is fine for a married man to have sex with an unmarried woman.

WRONG. It is also stated to “not commit fornication”

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