The No-Shit-Sherlock lab’s latest study


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09 August 2006

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Pay bills? We’d rather have new shoes, say women

While their mothers may have been content with three or four pairs of shoes, today’s women are not satisfied until they have a perfect pair for every outfit.

The result, according to the research, is that one in ten women now spend more than £1,000-a-year on shoes, while a staggering one in four would even forgo paying the bills for that must-have pair of designer heels.

Remember chaps; that shoe-bill will be yours when you marry and she quits her job.

‘It doesn’t matter how fat or miserable a woman is feeling, when she goes shoe shopping everything fits. Shoes have an incredible ‘Cinderella effect – they can transform not only an outfit, but also a woman’s mood.

‘Swapping a pair of flat shoes for high heels can change a woman into a sex kitten in seconds, in that sense shoes are rather magical.’

Erm, no it doesn’t. Andrea Dworkin could squeeze her big bloated feet (when she wasn’t dead) into a pair of sexy red stilettos and most men would still rather be thrown into the Sarlacc Pit than kiss her.

Around 80 of the women questioned said they had considered plastic surgery, such as having their toes shortened, to make their feet more attractive.

Hang on, that sounds like foot binding, something feminists claim was horribly cruel (and, for once, I agree with them.) Now lots of women have considered something similar – although not quite as drastic – voluntarily to make their feet more attractive? And what’s so attractive about stumpy toes anyway? Nutters.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 7:37 PM

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At 11:45 PM, KellyMac said…

Are you kidding me? 1000 pounds a year??? I’d be horrified to admit to something like that. I feel bad when I spend more than about $30.00, and that’s only because I need a lot of support in my shoes, and I have godzilla feet. Otherwise, I’d be buying the $10.00 pairs.

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At 1:29 AM, mfsob said…

Christ in a box, that’s more than $1,900 US dollars … almost three months of child support for me. Further proof that American/Western women are, indeed, insane.

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At 2:17 AM, Phoenix said…

But women are the responsible ones! :rollseyes

Like in those sitcoms, where the husband buys a big screen tv and just WASTES the family money (which he earned in the first place) because men are irresponsible!!! And they can’t balance checkbooks either, because only women are smart enough to do that! Because handling money requires math, which men suck at, but women excel at.

The way society is set up, there’s no reason to be a responsible male. Just waste as much money as possible, and someone else will be forced to bail you out. Oops, no, that’s only if you’re female, if you’re male you become homeless. You CAN be a criminal and deadbeat though, that way you can fuck many single women and spawn more children, and you become some sort of role model for the youth. After all, you’re getting sex, and that’s what society says success is.

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At 4:26 AM, nevo said…

This business of women shoes always freak me out. My ex use to buy three pairs for every pair I bought.
One day she came back from town with bags of shopping. When I asked her if she bought the milk for the children, guess what she answered?
Well my friends she didn’t. And she didn’t because it was to heavy to carry.
And yet, she put in her petition for divorce “UNREASONABLE BEHAVIOUR” JAJAJAJAJA!!!
Any reasonable man will be fuming at this sort of wickedly behaviour against his own children.
In today’s no fault divorce this is utterly irrelevant believe or not.
The worst part is that the children are witnessing and learning to behave in this way. When they become adults, they’ll be ready for another generation of disfunctional familys however hard I tried to avoid this from happening.
Why then, anybody should be surprised if today’s British prisons are full up with people who believe to have the right to an effortless life?
Try a feminist for an answer.

NEVO

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At 5:50 AM, Anonymous said…

I have a friend whose sister and all of her little skank friends are just like that. They have jobs only to pay for their expensive clothes and shoes.

Though We managed to get his sister to use a tad bit of intelligence and get well made knock offs and bootlegs from hongkong for 1/6th of the price and her stupid friends don’t know the difference.

It is funny to note that a few of her friends are gung-ho “I am an oppressed girl” feminist shills. Mind you, they are all upper class and thus have plenty of money so it isn’t as if they have any hardships they only work to buy extra expensive crap their parents allowance of 3-4 hundred bucks doesn’t cover per week. :/

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At 6:27 AM, Youngbuck said…

1000 pounds a years sounds conservative to me for many women. I know women who wear those Manolo Blahniks shoes, and those range from $500 to $3000. Amazing what career women spend their money on. I know several women who have literally run to the store to buy a pair of manolos for $1200 because it was on sale (original price over $2500) Funny thing is that these Manolo shoes look like payless shoes to me.

Designer purses are just as expensive. Some of these things cost more than high end plasma tv’s.

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At 11:18 AM, darkbhudda said…

Foot binding became popular in China because of one of the emperor’s concubines. It was once considered barbaric, and a “patriarchal” practice. I guess it’s alright if women choose to do it to themselves.

You’ve come a long way, baby.

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At 9:27 PM, Anonymous said…

The worst part is that the children are witnessing and learning to behave in this way. When they become adults, they’ll be ready for another generation of disfunctional familys however hard I tried to avoid this from happening.

According to nymom none of that is happening. Families have never been more functional. Children have never been more sane, happier, and safer!

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At 9:29 PM, Anonymous said…

Foot binding became popular in China because of one of the emperor’s concubines. It was once considered barbaric, and a “patriarchal” practice. I guess it’s alright if women choose to do it to themselves.

You’ve come a long way, baby.

It’s all about attracting men ($$$).

True then. True now.

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At 12:17 AM, Anonymous said…

According to nymom none of that is happening. Families have never been more functional. Children have never been more sane, happier, and safer!

Don’t forget that shoes are more important than milk, designer shits (I meant suits) are a priority before utilities, and handbags are major investments, unlike the home and schooling. (Which shall be provided by welfare)

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At 12:37 AM, Anonymous said…

In addition to being Material Whores women buy this shallow crap to attract attention. They crave attention from both other women and men (to make them appear prettier in the eyes of men). See women are like hollow eggs. Thin shell that needs to be painted up on the outside to appear attractive, but NOTHING on the inside. A barren, empty wasteland. That’s why it’s useless to try to reason with women. All they know are stupid cliches that they picked up or simply adopt the herd mentality of the other cows. Logic and the phenomenon of cause-and-effect are all alien concepts to them because it requires abstract thinking beyond immediate, animalist gratification needs.

Been practicing the ignore Western women thing here in the USA. It works! Visualize that they don’t exist. They will either try to go out of their way to get my attention (i.e., say “Hi!”) or they just stand there dumbfounded when I don’t register the expected effect in their presence. I sense the latter as almost a sense of shock on their part. Try it. They got only ONE card they can play on men (the biological mating response in men – hence the OBSESSION with “appearing” sexually attractive). Take that away and they hold no cards. Don’t look at them and they have no power. It’s like they’re Medusa or something.

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At 8:07 PM, Christopher in Oregon said…

I have used the “don’t look at them” method for years, and it drives them crazy. Another method is when a woman flashes that insincere smile at me, I just give her a blank stare. I never smile back. It always proves to be unsettling for them, but it works. Sometimes I even glower at them when they smile…..

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At 8:33 PM, phoenix said…

The ignore method is extremely dangerous at work, because it seems most women will become hysterically vindictive if you don’t pay attention to them and then try to make your life miserable.

It’s okay enough everywhere else but…you really don’t have to generally deal with women anywhere else. No one said you have to go to bars and clubs or what not, just do the smart thing and not go. Just spend time with family, play videogames, hang out with friends. Do things that are intellectually stimulating. A man needs a woman like water needs fish. Sure, the fish needs the water, but the water could care less.

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At 8:23 AM, Anonymous said…

A grand a year in pounds sterling for shoes, well, for me that’ll be like a truck load of shoes. That is sad, sad, sad. I do look for sensibility in money matters when it comes to women, but that seems to be lacking in most that I’d come across. Other point is that I just don’t see them girls walking around pigeon-toed in high heels to be that attractive.

Oh yeah, I do “the scowl”, just ignore ’em and walk on by. Think Clint Eastwood.

Icepick the Mad!

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