Sim-skanks


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30 September 2006

I ventured into one of these suburban Retail Parks today, one of those big fifty-billion square miles of vast, identical shops, with the obligatory Star-fucking-bucks and Sub-cunting-way amidst all the DIY and women’s clothes stores. The only reason I went was to nip to a computer game store.

In there, I was queueing up behind a pair of skanks. Both about twenty, low-slung jeans showing knickers, tight-tops, one with a tramp-stamp staring up at me from above her fetid arse-crack. Bleached blonde hair, whiney voices, absurd high-heels going clippity-clop on the laminated floor (t’is a posh computer store.) Between them they were buying one of the innumerable The Sims 2 expansion packs, a girlie game if there ever was one. When they got to the counter they paid and were informed by the guy at the till that they had no carrier bags.

“Whaddyamean no bags?” asked one of the skanks.

“We run out I’m afraid, I’m sorry,” responded the cashier.

Clearly the patriarchy was oppressing these poor skanks in it’s lack of availability of plastic carrying devices.

“Look, I neeeeeeeed a bag,” declared one of the oppressed womyn, “‘Aven’t you gone none at all?”

“No, sorry,” said the cashier, who appeared to be about to turn to serve me. Sadly he wasn’t getting away with his awful none-bag-providing oppression of womynkind that easily.

“Have you not got no bags?” demanded to know the other skank.

More responses in the negative and apologies were presented to the women, in a most conciliatory manner, but to no avail. The women tutted and rolled their eyes. Your humble narrator was standing behind them all this time, repeatedly counting to ten and trying to stop his humble right hand from clenching into a fucking fist.


“We’ve got some really big bags,” said another cashier, explaining that they were “really big” for console systems, flat-packed office chairs and such things, but hoping this would nonetheless suffice.

“That’ll do,” concluded one skank with a huffing sigh.

A big bag was provided, one so gigantic you could fit Andrea Dworkin’s rotting body in it, with ample room for Maureen Dowd’s struggling one as well. Into the massive bag was placed the tiny little DVD case containing the The Sims 2: University or The Sims 2: Nightlife or The Sims 2: Incest Orgy or whatever the fuck it was. The two women sauntered off with their big bag and little game. Clip-clop, clippity-clop.

Then I stepped up and paid for my game.

“We’ve run out of bags mate,” shrugged the cashier.

“That’s okay,” said your humble narrator, “unlike some customers, evolution blessed me with opposable thumbs so I’ll be able to carry it home.”

The cashier sniggered, but sadly the two skanks had left hearing range at that point so were sadly unable to catch my amusing quip. Oh well, they probably wouldn’t have understood it anyway.

hla0.jpg

“Hmmm…Hot Lesbian Action seems to be in the motherfucking house!”

The game I bought was Hitman: Blood Money incidentally, and it’s fucking great. Shame there’s not a level where you can invade a N.O.W. conference and garotte, stab, poison and shoot a load of feminists to death.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 8:13 PM
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At 9:07 PM, nevo said…

Hey Duncan!!
Talking about my town again?
I can’t go anywhere in this town without seeing a fat bum showing the colour of the thong.
For ages I have not seen a young lass in a classic dress with good manners and modesty.
It wrenches my guts to think, one day my son will marry into this sort of skunkness and eventually inherit the family silver.
Why I bother!!!!!

NEVO

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At 11:40 PM, Anonymous said…

Im surprised girls were in their to actually buy a video game. Hardly any women like playing them and they only really get into video games (if at all) because their boyfriend plays em. With the Hitman: Blood Money game better late than never, great game. I was playing it the other day actually must of played it like 20 times. Ah the joys of being a bachelor playing games for hours on end gotta love it.

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At 12:11 AM, pete said…

Im surprised girls were in their to actually buy a video game. Hardly any women like playing them and they only really get into video games (if at all) because their boyfriend plays em.

The Sims has been called a Virtual Doll House by the creator, so its easy to see why it appeals to girls. So much consumerism, so much micro-managing of lives and actions, girls can hone their manipulative skills on games like these.

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At 11:44 AM, Anonymous said…

You can now buy doom of xbox live arcade. Ah the good old days lol.

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At 5:20 PM, Anonymous said…

nevo said:
‘It wrenches my guts to think, one day my son will marry into this sort of skunkness and eventually inherit the family silver.’

Yes, and he might father a daughter too. Will you drown her at birth, and save the trouble of her turning into a ‘skank’?

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At 5:46 PM, Duncan Idaho said…

Yes, and he might father a daughter too. Will you drown her at birth, and save the trouble of her turning into a ‘skank’?

Actually, that’s the sort of thing women do, killing their babies on a whim. Did I say killing their babies? I meant aborting their fetuses like the independent grrrls they are.

I’ve yet to encounter a feminist here or anywhere who has used logic or reasoning. It’s nothing but shaming, insults and whining.

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At 6:35 PM, Anonymous said…

Yes. Women have butchered millions of their own children. To women it is all about choice and empowerment. Like what type of shoes to wear that day. Truly souless creatures.

“Danger. Danger. Will Robinson.”

Avoid…

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At 7:21 PM, Anonymous said…

For once I have little to add, except to concur that the Sims is indeed a piss-poor excuse for entertainment in appealing to the banal palate of it’s vacuous audience.

– nSCOURGE

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At 10:41 PM, Brazilian Bachelor said…

The Sims sucks.

All it added for the world was a whole bunch of women wanting to have the The Sims lifestyle… “Hey I wish I could live like on The Sims where you can get a lot of stuff, and if you run out of money you use a money cheat!”

Guess what is their “money cheat” in real life!!

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At 8:48 AM, HAWKEYE said…

clip clop clip clop yeh yeh yeh!
we all know what they look like,
clip clop clip clop,
5 dollar sucky sucky me love you long time

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At 2:41 PM, Anonymous said…

Duncan Idaho said:
‘Actually, that’s the sort of thing women do, killing their babies on a whim. Did I say killing their babies? I meant aborting their fetuses like the independent grrrls they are.’

But half of those fetuses would grow up to be women? Isn’t that a good thing, Dunky-Baby?

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At 6:22 PM, pete said…

But half of those fetuses would grow up to be women? Isn’t that a good thing, Dunky-Baby?

You’re confusing Duncan Idaho with a misogynist, the counterpart of a misandrist such as yourself. Go away troll.

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At 9:13 PM, Anonymous said…

I’m going nowhere, and I admire Mr I for letting me post….

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At 8:30 AM, unpleasant bitter git said…

anonymous 2:41 said “But half of those fetuses would grow up to be women? Isn’t that a good thing, Dunky-Baby?”

So your projecting that if someone is anti-feminist and anti-abortion then they would automatically want females killed? Have I got that correct?

Let me guess, you’re a feminist.

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