11 October 2006
Women are training themselves not to fall in love because relationships are skewed in favour of men, Fay Weldon said yesterday.
The novelist and commentator told an audience at The Times Cheltenham Literature Festival that women were no longer as romantic as they were a generation ago, to the detriment of their happiness.
Women have never been romantic. They mistake being receptive to romantic gestures with being romantic itself. These days romantic gestures are equated entirely with how much money is spent by a man on a woman.
Weldon, 75, argued that having been liberated by the Pill in the 1960s women were paying the price of trying to behave like men. “Our generation fell in love all the time,” she said. “We sacrificed everything. Now women are much more practical and hard-headed.
The part about them trying to behave like men is sort of right (although they don’t seem to be good at pretending to be gentlemen) but “more practical”?
However, in the pursuit of professional, social and domestic fulfilment many women are failing to accept that, hormonally and physiologically, they are programmed to experience life differently from men,” she said.
Sounds about right.
Happiness, her experiences have taught her, is about aspiring to virtue. Shopping, chocolate and the other “consolations” that women comfort themselves with are frivolous but valuable diversions.
Not to mention pets.
“Nothing makes a woman happy for more than ten minutes at a time because after that the doubts and anxieties arrive. You can’t help it as a woman. It’s not fair: men can be happy for the time of a football match. They have the advantage of single-tasking. Multi-tasking, which women are so proud of, is a great drawback because it limits the periods of our pure happiness.
Oh for fu…
So women’s supposed skills at multi-tasking are to blame for them not being happy? Bollocks. It’s the fact that they know that acting as if they’re miserable and being victimised will get them something, even if its just attention.
That’s what Weldon is doing her, moaning on that relationships are skewed in the favour of men. I guess her reasoning is that women sleep around a lot these days, which is handy for men who wants sex without having to get tied down with marriage. Maybe. But who’s to blame for this? Feminists. What is Fay Weldon? A feminist.
The fact is, us men like to be happy. Most women, seemingly, prefer to be all miserable and cross about something, to feel they’re suffering and are therefore owed some form of compensation from the world. Why else do they complain about everything, even when they get what they want, like careers and cats instead of housework and children?
“We are training ourselves out of being in love because it is so unfair.”
Oh nooooo, it’s so unfair! (Cue stomping of feet)
Even at 75-years of age, a feminist can still bang on like a toddler about it being so unfair she and other women can’t have everything they demand.
Whatever Weldon’s point to all this is, she’s only trying to sell some new book of her’s, What Makes Women Happy, a title guaranteed to get narcissistic self-centred Western Women flooding to bookstores.
posted by Duncan Idaho @ 5:13 PM
At 6:41 PM, Peregrine John said…
“They mistake being receptive to romantic gestures with being romantic itself.”
Can we get this transmitted to everyone on the planet? I’ve got a massive screed/essay (or series of shorter ones) coming on already which takes this premise and shows it in many, many areas.
In short: Preach on.
At 6:47 PM, Peregrine John said…
…and it’s all blank pages.
At 7:04 PM, Christopher in Or said…
What most men simply don’t understand (until it’s too late) is that women do NOT want to be happy, at least not as WE define happiness. They thrive on turmoil, bickering and anxiety. They love this stuff. It gives them a purpose. To simply relax and enjoy life is unacceptable.
To allow a MAN to relax and enjoy life is even worse.
At 9:06 PM, Paul Parmenter said…
Without wanting to drift too far off the subject, I must take a pickaxe to this oft-repeated and utterly irritating claim – or has it now become accepted as an irrefutable fact – that women are exceptionally good at something called “multi-tasking”. It’s bunkum from beginning to end.
I think it all began a few years back when scientists discovered that women’s brains tend to work on a number of different subjects simultaneously, while men had the ability to switch off the irrelevant parts of their brain activities and concentrate on the one important job in hand. This can largely be put down to historic sex roles: men had to learn to switch off because trying to listen to different competing thoughts in your head when you are facing a raging lion or an armed enemy, is highly conducive to losing concentration, getting killed and not passing on your genes. Women sitting in the safety of their caves or huts had no such constraints and could happily entertain lots of ideas at once, because there was no downside. It also suited their tendency to talk endlessly: you need a constant stream of trivial subjects flying around in your head to keep the verbiage flowing. It all fits.
Somehow the report on this brain phenomenon was seized on by feminist journalists and others too lazy to research the facts properly, and got distorted in the reporting. In next to no time we had ridiculous claims that every woman on the planet was dazzlingly brilliant at doing ten intensely complex tasks all at the same time, while every man on the planet was a simple-minded churl who struggled to walk and chew gum at the same time. it was a scientifically proven fact.
Apart from the preposterousness of this image, nobody seemed to notice that there is a huge difference between “multi-thinking” and “multi-doing”. Thus women’s ability to keep several ideas bouncing around in their head at the same time, without thinking any one of them through properly, got mysteriously translated into actually being able to DO several things all at once.
This breathtaking crap has become accepted mainstream thinking in the media, and thence into the thick skulls of women everywhere who naturally believe every absurd claim to female brilliance because they love to be flattered and can’t tell the difference between the truth and a heaving pile of bullshit.
So you now have endless numbers of women totally convinced that being female means they can cook an omelet, take the dog for a walk, mend a plug, put up a shelf, vacuum the bedroom, solve Rubik’s cube, write a letter and do the washing up, all in the same micro-second. The simple fact that they obviously can’t does not intrude upon their fantasy one iota.
So that’s their famous multi-tasking.
Men don’t claim to multi-task, but they simply get the job done. Did I not read somewhere that Colin McCrae the rally driver, was reckoned to process 33 pieces of information in his brain in one second while driving at high speed along a complex route? Now that’s what I call multi-tasking.
By the way, Colin McCrae is a man. So are all the top rally drivers in the world.
At 9:46 PM, ditchthebitch said…
“Women have never been romantic. They mistake being receptive to romantic gestures with being romantic itself.”
I have always wondered that the reason women are so obsessed with relationships is because they are so horrible at them- in other words, it is a never ending maze they can never figure out- and of course the fact that a ‘relationship’ is actually nothing more than a financial opportunity to a woman. Yes, I admit that if I were a woman, I would probably find this whole setup quite attractive as well, with the divorce laws backing me up as if it were legal to rob banks- but that is exactly the problem- NO ONE in society should be legally sanctioned pirates. More proof that women are horrible a relationships is the fact they need a ‘greeting card’ to express ‘themselves.’ Isn’t this a contradiction in terms? How pathetic would you have to be to actually WANT to give a greeting card to someone (men buy them only when they HAVE to, i.e. with a present, etc.) to express your ‘feelings’ for them? And how CONDESCENDING- think about it-“Hey, here’s some crap someone else wrote I don’t even know in the form of virtual cliche romantic verbiage to express how I feel about you.” LAME. Women are ALWAYS presenting themselves as if they were ‘experts’ on relationships, always critisizing, yet they never have to make the first move, therefore making them slobbering idiots when it comes to relationships. It’s as stupid as watching someone trying to find a cure for cancer and criticising them, but never lifting a finger themselves and calling themselves an ‘expert.’ It’s so stupid it’s funny.
At 9:50 PM, Anonymous said…
“By the way, Colin McCrae is a man. So are all the top rally drivers in the world.”
No, they are not.
Jutta Kleinschmidt is a woman and won Paris-Dakar in 2001.
At 10:08 PM, ditchthebitch said…
Hey, here’s a Femarroid site if I ever saw one, and they blather on about ‘love.’
By the way, this website actually posts real photographs of men with their real first and last names and the cities they live in, calling them liars and making all kinds of accusations at them. Isn’t this illegal? Defamation of character- liable or something? This kind of thing could also encourage stalking of these men. I tried to find somewhere to report this on the web, but all the sites for that sort of thing are all about child porn or whatnot- anybody know if this Femarroid website is illegal?
At 11:32 PM, ditchthebitch said…
I put a link to this blog and what ‘men are saying about women’ and this is how one Femarroid responded:
“Re eternal bachelor blogspot and ‘what men are saying about women‘. More like bitter and twisted misogynist losers! I just went on both sites and I can‘t be bothered to hang around reading the same old rhetoric that spills out of that regular cesspool of womanhating crap. My God my god…..‘forgive them for they know not what they do‘….
I am a strong woman and as far as I am concerned, anything less is a girl. Perhaps that is what those sort of men want? A little girl, a Stepford wife? It‘s really sad to read such hateful material about feminism. There really are guys out there who are bothered by equality and ironically it is in the western world, the same one that publicly sprouts equality for women and admonishes the lack of among the Muslim world! (Anyone remember Bush‘s speech on equality and the west vs. east?)
Strong does not mean ball-breaking bitch but if that is what some men think, then ok. To paraphrase Pink: “I‘m not here for your entertainment…it‘s just you and your hand tonight”…”
This is what I wrote back to her:
“Calling men bitter about Feminism and the divorce court fraud system and the the countless families and lives that have been destroyed because of it, and all the fathers who have lost their children due to the institutionalized fraudualant DV accustions racket, is like going to a M.A.D.D. meeting and telling everyone there that has had a child killed due to a drunk driver that they just hate drunk drivers because ‘they are just bitter,‘ which, of course, would probably get you shot! Plus, the only way this woman is strong is probably in her smell, and is clearly obese and sounds like the bitter one. Don’t forget batteries on your way home… for your vibrator.”
At 12:01 AM, Nat said…
Men don’t love women, women try to not love men anymore. Men find ridiculous being romantic, women don’t want to be romantic anymore. Men don’t want to marry, women don’t want to marry anymore. I don’t see what’s the problem in here. Women blame their multi-tasking skills for not being happy, so what? For one time that they don’t blame men, just let them stop being romantic and in love and enjoy your life as a bachelor.
At 2:05 AM, Anonymous said…
“No, they are not.
Jutta Kleinschmidt is a woman and won Paris-Dakar in 2001.”
Wow one women…you must be so proud.
At 2:26 AM, Anonymous said…
I checked anonafeminazis link and good for Jutta. Because it seems like she was a women that actually did hard work without bitching about men.
At 9:02 AM, bj said…
“I am a strong woman and as far as I am concerned, anything less is a girl.”
Ever noticed how the really messed up women always describe themselves as “strong”.
Have you ever described yourself as a “strong” man? Unless you are a circus performer probably not. Me neither!
At 10:54 AM, Anonymous said…
“Wow one women…you must be so proud.”
I am not proud, I know that it is incorrect to write that all women are incapable of driving.
It would be better to say most are.
Generalized assumptions are used by feminists why should we do the same?
At 10:26 PM, Playboy said…
RE: “I have always wondered that the reason women are so obsessed with relationships is because…”
Wrong. Women are obsessed with relationships because that is what defines their social and financial status in life. If a guy wants to live in a beautiful house on the California coast he needs to go to medical school and become a doctor (or whatever) – if a girl wants to live in a beautiful house on the California coast all she needs to do is marry a doctor.
At 11:51 PM, Christopher in Oregon said…
Not being scientifically inclined, I put my little one-cylinder brain to work on the issue of women “multi-tasking”, and I came up with the answer.
Women do not “multi-task”.
What actually happens is one of two things:
1) Women have multiple personalities at work at the same time. Most are bi-polar, schizo, BPD or whatever term applies. In short, they’re nuts.
2) The other option, which can work alongside the first, is that women are demon-possessed, and all of a woman’s little devils are busy at work which give the appearance of multi-tasking…..
God. Too much coffee. How the mind wanders under the influence of caffeine……
At 9:35 AM, Paul Parmenter said…
There are some red herring comments here about Jutta Kleinschmidt and the 2001 Paris-Dakar rally.
Perhaps I should have been more specific about rallying. There are many different types of rally, but when it comes to the use of the brain to process masses of information at excessive speed, with split-second timing, it is the high-speed rallies in the World Championship that sort out the best. Paris-Dakar is the complete opposite, being based on endurance where the durability and versatility of the machine in extreme conditions is of far greater importance than the technical skill of the driver. Nobody has to process streams of conflicting information in a second; it is more of a challenge to stop falling asleep with boredom as you motor through hours of endless desert.
Plus luck has a huge role to play in Paris-Dakar. I recall Kleinschmidt only won because faster male drivers were controversially cleared out of her way – I invite you to read up the full story of how that happened. I also note that Kleinschmidt seems not to have won anything else at all since 2001. I will concede she is a pretty good driver in the right machine and in an environment where reacting at speed is not a requirement, but she is not the best and has shown no inclination to take on the men at the sharp end of the sport.
I think my point about the myth of female multi-tasking is still unrefuted.