Stretching the definition of “sacrifice”


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10 October 2006

In divorces, women frequently claim they “sacrificed” their career after marriage, despite the fact that most married for the sole purpose of quitting their career (why else would a career girl marry a wealthy guy, rather than an unemployed guy who’ll be a stay-at-home-hubby, if not to live off of him?) There are endless women at my workplace who moan about how much they’d love to marry a rich guy (or a “rich sucker” as one dreamily simpered the other week) to become a Lady of Leisure and quit their 40-hour-a-week office jobs. Working more than five-years after leaving education is for us men only, apparantly.

A man could argue in a divorce court that, when he married, he quit the job of doing the housework, which he loved so much, and (sob) throughout all those years of marriage, he (boo-hoo) missed out on perfecting the art of ironing and hoovering.

“But housework isn’t fun!” would be the natural comment of women and divorce “judges”.

Exactly.

Neither is working in an office or factory! As they damn well know. But to most modern women, life is for them to enjoy, but for men to endure.

As many men have pointed out before, if a man has to continue to provide for his ex-wife, how come she doesn’t have to continue to do his housework? Obviously, because that would be “fair”, and “fair” isn’t in divorce court’s dictionaries.

Single women look for a wealthy guy so they can quit their jobs, or at least work just part-time, but come divorce time, they’ll rage against how terrible it was to have quit their wonderful, fulfilling careers for the horrors of pushing a hoover about a bit and ironing a few shirts whilst watching Neighbours and hosting coffee-mornings with their lazy married mates (the fact that most married men with wives who don’t work, or work part-time, have to do at least half of the housework, in addition to traditional male housework like DIY – which is deemed a “hobby” to make it out he’s just mucking about having fun – and the number of housewives who just hire maids and nannies, is a whole sub-rant to this topic.)

Besides, women use the term “career” very loosely.

“When I married you twenty-years ago Gerald, I had a fulfilling career packing nails into bags in a factory. I gave that up to iron your shirts, cook your dinner, watch your plasma screen TV whilst you were working nights, going on a shopping spree on your Platinum Am-Ex, going on three foreign holidays a year at your expense and generally bear the responsibility of spending most of your doctor’s salary! I wish you’d resisted my endless nagging and shaming language and not bothered proposing to me, then I could have stuck at my career! Instead of being a wealthy Lady of Leisure, I could have been back at that factory. I could have been promoted! I could have been supervising people packing nails into bags by now! But I sacrificed all that. Boo-hoo! Now get out of my five-bedroomed suburban house – that you paid for – or I’ll hit you then call the police and tell them you hit me!”

A woman who quits her job after marrying to be a housewife has no more “sacrificed” her career than her husband has “sacrificed” doing all his own housework.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 8:42 PM
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At 9:35 PM, nevo said…

Is not that I want to repeat myself. However, I’d like to say it again.
If the law takes away from a man the rewards of his hard work in a divorce court, the likelihood is that he will stop creating wealth using his skills at work. Or, the wise one, will never marry and use his wealth just as he pleases.

Either way, women lose.

NEVO

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At 11:07 PM, morbid misanthrope said…

Goddamn right. Poor housewives, they don’t have to deal with shitty bosses, annoying co-workers, stress, deadlines, etc. yet they still have plenty to bitch about when their husbands get home. What the fuck?

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At 12:27 AM, HAWKEYE said…

sacrifice
let me tell you about sacrifice
for 10 years i worked 12 hour shifts in a dangerous dark mine.any time i had off i slept.i did this so my wife and children might enjoy the luxury of owning our own home (something i never had)for 10 year i hardly even got to see my 4 kids ,i was just this thing that would come home grumpy and climb into bed and then leave again, “sacrifice” .

how can you put a price on missing out on your children’s early years completely?but i “sacrificed” that as much as it hurt me for the benefit of my family.

my wife got to spend every day with them ,clean the house once a week and the rest of the time she was free to do as she pleased .

oh and yes she couldn’t wait to quit her job when she became pregnant

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At 2:39 AM, Anonymous said…

My 10 year old son has learned to cook very simple dishes. He has learned how to do laundry, and has folded his own clothes now for several years, and now regularly separates clothes. He is learning how to sweep floors (with a broom, he already knows how to run a vacuum cleaner). He cleans parts of the bathroom. He takes out the trash. And, he is now old enough that he is learning how to wash dishes.

When we work together, we can have the house cleaned in a couple of hours. *THIS* is what women say is hard, and bitch about? He never complains about that stuff, and he’s only 10!

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At 5:23 AM, Anonymous said…

I’d like to see some of these so called modern “housewives” be forced to keep daily time management ledgers. Only fair since they view their position as a full-time job. They’ll probably claim it took them 4 hours to vacuum the living room, 3 hours to wash the dishes, and didn’t have hardly any time at all to watch TV, talk on the phone, or visit with friends. In fact, they’ll claim they are so exhausted by their workload hubby should take on an extra job so she can get a housekeeper.

They want to claim they have “jobs”. Fine. AUDIT THEM!!!

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At 6:24 AM, Anonymous said…

just heard on the bbc radio another report of how badly women come off after divorce in financial terms!!!???
Me and my mates must have gone to the wrong court.
Sounds like to prevent women suffering from divorce it would be a great help in not marrying them. Keep up the good work on behalf of all women.

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At 8:07 AM, Captain Zarmband said…

A woman will always complain no matter what the state of her life and no matter how pampered she is. If she gets all she wants she will just invent more demands on a never-ending conveyor belt of “needs.” No matter what you do as an individual, or society does to pander to them, they are never happy. The truth is it’s just in their genes to be whinging, lazy malcontents constantly complaining about how hard done to they are. As you have said so many times Duncan, there is only one answer and that is the marriage strike.

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At 1:39 PM, ChicagoMan said…

So true on the hobby part.

Anything that pertains to labor they don’t want to or can’t comprehend doing is automatically considered a hobby.

Right, because I paint, do the electrical and plumbing for fun.

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At 2:06 PM, pete said…

This is the main reason that I’m not willing to marry. When women are not willing to settle into their traditional role of homemaker, but men are forced to be the provider by society and law, things are not fair.

Vasectomies ahoy!

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At 4:55 PM, Christopher in Oregon said…

Duncan;

I strongly- again STRONGLY- urge you to obtain the book “From Courtship To Courtroom- What Divorce Law Is Doing To Marraige” by Jed Abraham. It is written by a brilliant divorce attorney who works for men. The book is very readable, and although written from the American perspective, will prove useful to any man living in a western Matriarchy.

I’ve read it five times now. It’s just that good. You can get it through Amazon.com, and it isn’t terribly expensive. You will undoubtedly read it in one sitting, as I did.

Christopher

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At 5:18 PM, Verlch said…

The only thing women care about these days is spying on their husbands, and not putting out enough to satisfy their husbands.

Fighting about the stupidest things you can think about are a major second.

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At 8:16 PM, Anonymous said…

WOW, the customer reviews on this book are just EYE-OPENING! 😮

Why isn’t anyone fighting to change divorce laws???????

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At 9:01 PM, zzoonn said…

In my opinion, sacrifice in marriage is:
1.To work hard to do the best for your family; and hear of your wife that things are not fine yet.
2.To pay taxes and see the government make laws that will make the ‘so-hard’ life of women easier.
3.To recover(most of the time alone) after divorce and see your kid grow up without his dad.
4. …
5. …

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