A single night for singles, cunningly named Singles Night


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20 October 2006

telegraph.jpg

I noticed a notice on some telegraph poles in my neighbourhood recently, advertising a “Singles Nights for the over 30s” at some local pub tomorrow.

Methinks it’ll be mostly women there. If it were under 30s then it would possible be an even mix or mostly men; after all, twentysomething women tend to have what men want – youth and looks – and many twentysomething men tend not to yet have what women want – money, a house, an established career. Plus most young women don’t “lower” themselves to going to organized things like singles nights because they don’t really need to. They can just go into bars and look available. Unless they’re so ugly they look like Bernard Manning in a wig, or have accidentally wandered in to a gay bar, they’ll quite probably be flirted with at some point.

Beyond thirty, though, it’s a different story. Women – especially those beyond 35 – do not have what men want. Their looks are fading, their biological clocks are ticking and often there will be quite a bit of emotional baggage and possibly even an illegitimate bastard or two. Not to mention the fact that most women by that age will have humped a fair number of guys. This is not wife material. Men beyond thirty often have what women want; assets, a house, career, etc. Plus us men don’t have looks that fade as quickly as women’s, and we can also have children until well into middle-age.

Additionally, of course, singles nights are not really hook-up nights, for people to get together for casual sex. They’re meant to be for people looking for relationships of the long-term variety, and once more this will appeal more to commitment-desperate women than us men. If us men make it past 30 without marrying then it usually means we were never keen on marriage anyway, or had utterly ruled it out altogether, or if we were keen on marriage when younger then it became less important to us as we got older.


The opposite is the case with women. Marriage becomes more important as they grow older; it’s no coincidence that this is because they become less eligible as they get older. As it becomes less likely there will be a boyfriend ready to replace their current one they begin to pester the current one to legally commit himself to her (knowing she has no legal obligations to him.) I know plenty of single (often in a relationship, but not married) women under 28 who don’t care one whit for marriage at the moment, who just casually talk about being married and having kids “some day”, but I also encounter plenty of unmarried women beyond about 30 who are desperate to get married, their biological clocks ticking, the attention from men dwindling, their super empowering careers establishing themselves into the routine of a basic wage-slave “job”. Bear in mind, of course, that the night is for those over 30, not just thirtysomethings, so I dare say there’ll be a fair few fortysomething women, probably divorced or who have really left it too late, eager to find a sucker.

Consequently, I dare say the singles night for over 30s will be mostly women. Of course, even if they massively outnumber the men they’ll probably not approach the men, just sit there like aging princesses waiting for Prince Charming to come over and do all the work. Then complain men are intimidated by them if they’re not approached.

It would be funny to go though. Maybe I could pick up a MILF for some sportfucking.

Or, even more amusingly, I could deliberately misunderstand the concept of a “singles night.”

It’s great being single,” I could rave drunkenly in front of a couple of manginas, a throng of aging spinster and the increasingly horrified organizer (most probably a woman) of the whole event, “It’s fantastic! No bloody woman telling me what to do. I can sit around the house watching Beavis & Butthead or playing video games or wanking over hardcore pr0n, all without any wife or girlfriend telling me what to do. It’s great! Most women suck these days, only wanting to get married once they’re past thirty and skanked out…What do you mean, what am I on about? This is a singles night isn’t it? Doesn’t that mean we all get together and talk about how ace it is to be single?…What, you mean we’re meant to get it on with these women?” I could gasp, waving a hand in the vague compass direction of a load of distressed looking spinsters, “With these lot?! These aging slappers and single mummies? Ewww! Fuck that, they can sod off…Oh, I am not making the women cry! They’re probably just missing their cats. Right, whose round is it? Don’t worry, I’ll get them in; I’m a bachelor, so I actually have money, and I can spend it without requiring authorization from The Wife!

Actually, on second thoughts, I can’t be arsed. Thanks to the feminization of the workplace I spend every weekday in a room full of entitlement princesses, the last thing I want to do at the weekend is go into a pub full of them. Besides, the fewer men go, the more shocked all the women will be. After all, the media feeds them an endless diet of nonsense that us men are desperately in need of “a good woman”, that we are helpless without them, and that most men love nothing more than the idea of courting aging career gals and single mothers with a view to matrimony, so it’ll be an amusingly awful surprise for them to find out only a few manginas and PUAs with no standards have turned up.

Then again I may decide to head on down anyway, in the spirit of investigative journalism. I’ll see how it goes.

On the other hand, I bought The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion today, and I intend on playing it until my eyeballs fall out.

oblivion.jpg

Yikes! Attack of the big flaming vaginas. Run away, run away!

Video games > modern western women

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 8:18 PM
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At 9:12 PM, nevo said…

I think you should go.
And tell us all about it.

You never know, might even get a free ride for the night.

Ooops, I forgot to mention to get a condom. Lest you get a paternity suit in four weeks time.

NEVO

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At 9:27 PM, Viking said…

Awesome game. Great way to waste time. And I have wasted much of it on this game. But you just had to mention the flaming vaginas. Great. Wonderful. Now I will never be able to play the game again without thinking of that. Uugh. Like a song you can’t get out of your head.

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At 9:49 PM, FredXblog said…

LOL

Brilliant piece Duncan

It would be positively excellent to hijack one of these ‘singles nights’- to mock them

LOL

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At 10:12 PM, Youngbuck said…

Man, what took you so long to get Oblivion??? GOTY for me!!

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At 11:25 PM, Christopher in Oregon said…

Excellent. I needed this today. Very, very good comments.

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At 12:11 AM, HAWKEYE said…

hahahahahah
this is the best blog on the net

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At 12:32 AM, mfsob said…

Ahhh, another Monty Python and the Holy Grail fan. And the scene near the beginning where he’s chanting, “Bring out your dead!” exactly sums up male and female relations today:

Male – “But I don’t want to get on the cart (i.e., marriage).”

Female – “Oh, don’t be such a baby (submit to me because I have a vagina)!”

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At 1:33 AM, MS said…

@ Fredxblog
“It would be positively excellent to hijack one of these ‘singles nights’- to mock them”

How about…
“What? You mean it doesn’t include gay singles?”

Tears. “Not only are there even less available men here than I thought, but half the ones that are here are in competition with me.”

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At 1:37 AM, Anonymous said…

Duncan,

just out of curiosity, what is your home town/region?

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At 3:33 AM, malikstarks said…

Every young male should know the truths you pointed out in this one. Many figure it out too late, but more and more seem to be catching on.

By the way all of you guys do great work on the blogs, I spend some time reading them just about every day to kick back and relax in my bachelorhood.

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At 3:36 AM, Anonymous said…

I also expect you to assist to that single night,
that would make a truly great entry into your blog

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At 8:22 AM, Anonymous said…

Most women are a fucking nightmare, and this is why God invented pornography.

Maybe Duncan should start a singles night where a obesity and shallowness test is given at the entrance. You never know, you may find some decent women … somewhere … abroad.

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At 12:14 PM, Duncan Idaho said…

Man, what took you so long to get Oblivion??? GOTY for me!!

I had to get a new computer! My old one only had an FX5200 card which would have probably withered and died trying to play Oblivion. It certainly didn’t manage to run the Hitman: Blood Money and Prey demos at more than about 10fps. I couldn’t upgrade the card either because all the new cards are PCIe and my other two machines both only had PCI slots.

So I built a new system from scratch, including a motherboard with a PCIe slot, and spent almost two-hundred quid on a super-duper nVidia 7900GS card that kicks arse and runs everything perfectly!

Of course, it’ll be outdated in a couple of years.

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At 12:53 PM, Fem Hater said…

Strange thing is that these women think they the hottest thing around, and therefore they all deserve the hottest guy around, in short you have all the women chasing one guy, which turns out to be the guy who was nerd at school and never got attention from the girls back then and now is boosting his ego. The rest of the guys just don`t really care about women, they rather go to a good looking prostitute (hey women these days have pretty much slept with the same amount of men as prostitutes so it no difference, only prostitute are better looking and cheaper and less of a emotional drain)

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At 8:25 PM, Thunderchild said…

Excellent post Duncan – and exactly right. Am over at MFO fighting the good fight on the message boards, and believe it or not I am not the only dissenting anti-feminist voice. I might move over to the BBC Message Boards and cause some ruckus there !

On the over 40’s Board at MFO there is a whining female bemoaning that she has organised a singles night and needs more men to attend – dream on Sista !!

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At 4:31 AM, Anonymous said…

Duncan,

If you do plan to go undercover for ‘investigative journalism’, I suggest you call it “Operation Bag a Slag”

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