25 October 2006
Courtesy of The Onion
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Henry “Hank” Doswell, 42, was released from his marriage Wednesday, after DNA tests conclusively proved his innocence in the July 1991 fathering of Spencer Doswell, the solitary charge that has kept him committed for 15 years.
Visibly moved to tears as his divorce lawyer read the test results, Doswell, who had been confined to a suburban housing facility after being wrongly wedded after allegedly impregnating then-girlfriend Karen Sanders, told reporters he was relieved to finally set his matrimonial record straight.
You can obviously tell it’s a spoof; in real-life men are forced to pay Child Support even if it’s proven that their wife’s kid is actually some other guy’s!
“I’ve made some choices I’m not proud of,” said the newly liberated Doswell. “When you’re in wedlock, you have to do things you never thought you would, make friends with people you would have never made friends with on the outside, shop at a Pottery Barn. But after wasting almost half my life on baptisms and birthday parties meant for some other man, I’m not about to take my single life for granted anymore.”
“I can’t believe I’m actually free,” he added.
posted by Duncan Idaho @ 5:16 PM
At 12:10 AM, mfsob said…
*cocks an ear* I can hear the feminazis screeching in rage as we speak …
At 12:13 AM, Masculist Man said…
Run dude. The femistopo is after you. Make a run for the border.