Women prefer pussy to men, apparantly.


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25 December 2006

birdwithcat.jpg

The purr-fect companion

Men versus cats – have they ever stood a chance? Men, I mean.

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I’m not sure whether I’m drawn to ‘free-spirited feline mysticism’ (is that a branch of Kabbalah?), but I am a lifelong cat fan.

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It could even be argued, with a cat-food industry valued at £700m, that cats are fast becoming a feminist issue. Maybe, then, it’s only right that women and cats have their very own £1m advert celebrating their love for each other. Saying that, let’s not get over-excited. Any sane woman who loves cats would be highly unlikely to view them as ‘furry placebos’ for the real stuff of life and relationships. Men just spread that around, possibly because they can’t stand the competition.

To summarize the article:

Blah-blah, men are useless, yadda-yadda, who needs men, yak-yak, fucking stupid fat stupid men, waffle-waffle, cats are brilliant, menopause-menopause, etc.

This seems all jolly defensive, doesn’t it?


“We don’t own cats and treat them like children because we’re sad lonely spinsters desperately trying to fulfil the void left by a lack of children thanks to blindly following feminism, noooo, it’s a case that cats are better than having a husband and child.”

Sure, whatever.

It’s also highly unsurprising to see a National “Newspaper” (incidentally The Observer is the Sunday sister-paper of the (hock, spit) Guardian fembot rag) casually spouting forth all sorts of misandry and deeming men lower than cats.

Now single female cat lovers are simply branded ‘on the shelf’ as they float by in the supermarket, with their trolleys full of Sheba.

Not so.

Erm, actually, yes, come to think about it. Although don’t forget room in the trolley for some vibrator batteries, you dried up old spinsters.

The four women I dated in 2005 (aged 26 to 33, all childless with biological clocks ticking loudly) all had cats. One had three!

Indeed, it might simplify matters if, from now on, men could be viewed as ‘failed cats’; cats who didn’t quite make the grade in the female world. Sometimes you’ve just got to rub their noses in it. It’s the only way they’ll learn.

Yeah, us men are failed cats. Whatever you say missy.

It’s a “female world”, hmmm, riiight, sure. No wonder so many modern Western Women get on so well with cats; they’re both an annoying species of narcissistic feckers who want everything doing for them.

When you snot-nosed feminist bores finally grow up and want a kid and your biological clock is ticking, or you hit 30 and your career is boring and you’d like someone to provide for you, or you need the oil changing or the fridge repairing, you feel free to be glad you never got married and instead call over your wonderfully superior moggy to sort things out. Have fun whilst the flea-bitten twat responds appropriately to your bitching by barfing up a furball and pissing on your sofa.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 1:15 PM
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At 6:35 PM, Anonymous said…

Hey, Duncan, don’t be so hard on cats. Yeah, it seems to be the rule that guys aren’t supposed to like them, but this guy does. In fact, it’s easy to make the flip side of the “men-are-failed-cats” argument in your post.

In contrast to women:

None of the cats I’ve had over the years has ever called me ugly.

None of them has ever said I didn’t make enough money.

None of them has ever turned up their nose at finding out what my occupation was.

None of them has ever demanded money or expensive bullshit.

None has ever done hateful or hurtful stuff such as stand me up for a date, etc. A cat will take you or leave you; it won’t go out of its way to be mean as a woman can.

All of the cats I’ve ever had have been happy to see me when I get home.

Cats are beautiful, intelligent animals full of personality and affection, especially when treated right. It’s too bad that so many are wasted on women and that more men don’t appreciate cats.

Cats and dogs are different animals and deserve to be appreciated for their respective qualities. Guys, take another look at a cat as a pet. You might be pleasantly surprised.

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At 6:50 PM, Anonymous said…

Duncan,

Look at the writing and reasoning in the article. It’s childish and borderline retarded. Along with its pandering tone, it is designed to get and hold female readership. Which leads to increased ad revenues.

It’s like all the stupid celebrity worship pieces. Draws in females.

Very indicative off the worthless ball of fluff in the female mind.

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At 7:59 PM, VoodooJock said…

For all Mr. Fluffy’s benefits, the stupid cat still cannot:

Make a chick feel ‘safe’ in her own home

Fix the car.

Program the VCR

Lift heavy shit.

Bring home a bigger paycheck

Come up with technological advancements

Do the rest of the world’s shit jobs.

But hell, cats are better than men. Keep deluding yourselves, sisters, The louder you gripe about how lousy men are, the more desperate for one you actually are.

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At 11:51 PM, Anonymous said…

She’s bragging about cats while at the same time basically begging for a man. If she changed her tone maybe she’d be happier in life.

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At 1:45 PM, Anonymous said…

Indeed, it might simplify matters if, from now on, women could be viewed as ‘failed dogs’; dogs who didn’t quite make the grade in the male world. Sometimes you’ve just got to rub their noses in it. It’s the only way they’ll learn.

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At 1:57 PM, khankrumthebulgar said…

The only Cat Feminists deserve is a Polecat aka. Skunk. They secrete a foul odor that is difficult to remove, just like FemNags.

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At 2:36 PM, The Man On The Street said…

Come now, it’s actually very simple why femnags/femikooks prefer cats to men. Is it any wonder why a dried up femikooks crotch smells of fish? Is it any wonder why a cat’s tongue has small ‘nubbs’?

Think about it.

🙂

TMOTS

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At 3:00 PM, Rob Fedders said…

Anyone care to wager how long it will be until the government considers a woman’s cat to be a dependent for tax purposes?

Man’s best friend will of course be subjected to heavy regulations, licenses and fees.

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At 8:35 AM, Cornholio Mangus said…

That article was a joke, right?
Something from The Onion?

I swear, some of these women are becoming their own parody!

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At 11:10 AM, Anonymous said…

Haven’t you noticed the “purr”fect timing of this self-congratulatory childish drivel? It’s the Festive Season and the gals are….lonely as Hell!

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At 11:11 AM, Anonymous said…

I like cats. But women are much more useful. They cook and bear children and can be very frinedly. Actually they are much cutier than cats.

The author is really stupid. To even attempt to compare men to cats is mad, to publish the comparison is weird.

Please remember: cats are friendly and very nice. They do not divorce.

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At 5:19 PM, Anonymous said…

I suppose you’re right, cats may run away, but at least they don’t take half your stuff.

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At 9:00 PM, Anonymous said…

I’m a guy and I’ve had cats, but the only cats I’ve had were stray cats, feral and wild, who would never come inside the house. Getting them inside the house evoked the same reaction as pouring a bucket of water on them.

I had one cat line up four dead birds on the front stoop one morning. I’m saying a straight-fucking-line, equi-fucking-distant, freshly killed birds. There’s a reason the Egyptians revered them.

Don’t blame cats for the perfidy of women, blame women for the sorry useless state of modern housecats.

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At 9:10 PM, Anonymous said…

Several years ago, my son was engaged to a really fat woman, in my opinion, a true skank. They were ‘waiting until they married’ as quaint as that sounds. Well, it proved to be a wise decision.

One day, she came home and told him she had tired of no intimacy, so she jumped in bed with a seducer at work, and she was done with him.

He quickly moved out. His life has gone almost straight up; he is currently in med school.

The seducer wouldn’t even talk to her again. Hee, hee. She had two cats, and as far as I can tell, that is what she has today. Two cats; still no intimacy.

If anyone wants an obese skank with two cats, let me know, hee, hee, I am sure she is available.

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At 10:40 PM, Pete Patriarch said…

I don’t trust cats. They often give no warning before striking out, whereas a dog is much more open about its intentions and if its growling, you stay the fuck away.

But seriously, this columnist must be going insane with all those cats of hers to think that comparing cats and men would be a good idea.

However, I can pretty much see some vile cunt in an office passing this article around to all the other hags who have cats at home, they start cackling about “who needs men!” in their man-unfriendly Human Resources or other bullshit department.

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At 12:37 AM, selkie said…

Anonymous 11:10 am said…
Haven’t you noticed the “purr”fect timing of this self-congratulatory childish drivel? It’s the Festive Season and the gals are….lonely as Hell!

Just wait until Valentine’s Day.

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At 1:51 AM, Schpengle Carrot-Tripe said…

mm, hi again all, you seen This in Germany?
I lived there for a few years and the population was kind of seriously going into decline……..however, the Turkish migrants there were growing to a larger proportion of the population.
I wonder how this will work over there>?

The thing was, the laws were far more family friendly out there, there were really inducive tax breaks etc, and the fathers actually got 2 months paternity leave before, anyway.
however, male rape also reigned in the divorce courts…….
except worse.
😦

If you were in a family you were really sorted, you fell out of favour, you were really shafted.

there was still a far more “traditional” feel for families out there, more so in the east. However there were also the stereotypical male wrongdoings that we always get labelled with, ie, the alchohol abuse etc………
but they do have cold winters 🙂

so I should bother my arse to research the divorce % over there and also family breakdown etc.
but i cant be arsed maybe another can.

oh and I was engaged to a german girl.
she first got pregnant by her ex, then some time after the abortion had a long term affair with an “English mate” of mine.

the sound he made as I decked him will stay with me forever.
immensely satisfying.

I left him with the tart and came home.
didnt work for me .
ah well, it takes all sorts,
theres plenty more fish in the sea………..
…”James!……pass me the dynamite…..and the lime!!!………and do we have any washing powder left?”

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At 9:39 AM, Inkraven said…

Anonymous @ 9:00 PM wrote:
“I had one cat line up four dead birds on the front stoop one morning. I’m saying a straight-fucking-line, equi-fucking-distant, freshly killed birds. There’s a reason the Egyptians revered them.”

I’ve also had well-cared for cats that would bring me prey. The reason they do that is because they recognize that you take care of them, and they want to take care of you in return, which to them means providing food.

What we can conclude from this is that cats >> feminists.

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At 3:01 AM, Anonymous said…

I’ve also had well-cared for cats that would bring me prey. The reason they do that is because they recognize that you take care of them, and they want to take care of you in return, which to them means providing food.

That’s interesting. Never knew that. Like a little lion contributing to the pride (family).

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At 4:24 AM, Panzer said…

Carrot-tripe, if Im not mistaken you mentioned an NBC suit in an earlier post. With this and now you mention you lived in Germany I just have to ask, are you military?

Panzer

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