02 March 2007

A fine post by Richard Ford.

We think that the small things in our life are not important- we allow women to choose the colour scheme of our home and the furniture because we like to please them. In this way we gradually build the chains that bind us through our own labours, we create an abode that is only a home for the woman. We do this because we think it will buy us peace- but the opposite is the case. Gradually we find ourselves living in another persons home- we find ourselves unable to relax in quite the way we used to. The area of our lives that are exclusively our own business is gradually reduced to nothing. We find ourselves effectively homeless in our own homes.

From Carnival of Reaction.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 2:49 PM


At 4:12 PM, Anonymous said…

Yes, it is VERY DANGEROUS to live under the same roof with a woman. They are hard-wired to control every aspect of their environment, including YOU. A male’s first experience with that is his mother. Psychological death by a thousand cuts. Visit and maybe even sleep over, but DO NOT MOVE IN.


At 8:07 PM, Christopher in Oregon said…

A woman always dominates any home she lives in and the other occupants, as well. It’s now her nest, and anyone else is only allowed to stay if it pleases her.


At 11:09 PM, Lisa said…

Eye opening. Though I would consider our home a blend of my and my husband’s input, the furnishings have largely been decided by me. Not that I ruled him out on anything, but if he didn’t seem to have an opinion, I let it be and made decisions by myself. Now I’m rethinking that a bit. Though I view everything as ours, in doing a quick visual survey of our main floor, I see a lot of ‘my’ touches. The exceptions are these huge pictures in our living room I’ve been planning to move to our rec room in the basement. I’m not that crazy about them. He thinks they are great. Your post is making me realize whether or not I view them as an eyesore isn’t important. He likes them and they are his touch on our environment. I’ll leave them be. I may actually move his bachelor chair up from our basement. Gasp!

Anon at 4:12, I do agree women are wired in a way to be controlling. Many believe that is what men want though. Finding the balance is tough. Somewhere we got it in our heads men don’t care about certain things. For me, it’s actually refreshing to learn that might not be the case.


At 11:18 PM, mfsob said…

“we find ourselves effectively homeless in our own homes.”

Man, did THAT line hit me like a kick in the balls … I mean, I kind of knew before I got married that women are “nest builders” with scant regard for the other nestees, but after she moved in, Christ. NOTHING I brought into the marriage was considered suitable, which necessitated buying all new stuff to replace the same kind of stuff I already owned. I was flatly told that my taste sucked and I didnt’ know squat about how to make a home look “nice.” Came to find out that “nice” meant the kind of thing you might find on a Hollyweird movie set or one of the nicer Vegas bordellos. I could go on, but you get the idea.

I was just “in transit” the entire 15 years.


At 11:02 AM, Sociopathic Revelation said…

“I do agree women are wired in a way to be controlling. Many believe that is what men want though. Finding the balance is tough. Somewhere we got it in our heads men don’t care about certain things. For me, it’s actually refreshing to learn that might not be the case.” _ Lisa

Unfortunately, women seem to think they know what’s best for men.

Quite frankly, I haven’t come across one—in a long, LONG time—that cared about my welfare as much as hers.


At 2:35 PM, Lisa said…

Sociopathic, I can’t disagree with you. I’m searching my mind to try to figure out where that belief originated for me. I mean, it’s pretty handy to believe you are acting in someone’s best interests when you are looking for a reason to poo-poo their opinions. I really think it was something that was sold to me at an early age. I can remember being very young and having my grandmother and mother telling my dad “oh, you don’t want to wear that do you” or “surely you don’t think that’s a good idea.” It was always said in kind of a mother to child way. When you think of it, it’s kind of creepy.


At 4:54 PM, Christopher in Oregon said…


You’re NOT going to find a woman who cares about your welfare. Women are trained/wired to be nest builders, so in their minds, the children come first. That’s a recipe for disaster, as a successful marriage requires that the parents place each other before anyone, including the children.

Even under the best of circumstances, you won’t find a woman that places her husband’s happiness above her own, or that of “her” children. The anti-male indoctrination has been too thorough. I try to warn men of one thing: No woman will ever love you. She doesn’t care about your happiness, and never will.

If a man can get this idea firmly entrenched in his mind, it will help him if he is still foolish enough to deal with women.

As Rev. Shannon pointed out, women just don’t care. Truer words were never spoken.


At 8:37 PM, VoodooJock said…

Homeless in your own home? It’s not just there. It’s society in general that has systematically removed ‘safe havens’ for men. Men-only universities, and high schools, have been badgered into admitting women. Augusta National is besieged by harpies and harridans every time the Masters is played there. The Fraternal Order of Eagles is now forced to admit women as well, thanks to the ACLU’s bullying.


At 9:32 PM, Anonymous said…

The problem is that we live in a world where women are telling boys how to be men; disaster is the only probable outcome. When men base their lives on seeking female approval, they are no longer men….


At 12:48 AM, k-dog said…

My brother was married to The Wife From Hell for several years. More about her another time, but suffice it to say that while clearing a storage area, he found love letters from other men to her from when he and she were still married. From what these other men had written, it was obvious she had told them she was in an “open marriage” and could screw around as she wanted—and she did, and became more obvious about it as time went on.

Anyway, she had a bunch of bric-a-brac of a certain theme, Native American, around the house. He was a volunteer fire fighter and wanted to display a couple of small fire engine models in “their” (her) living room. She said absolutely not, and got her way. She wanted nothing but Native American stuff around the house, probably because she was “busy” on a nearby reservation in the state she dragged him to before their divorce.

Thank goodness they never had any kids together and he got a clean divorce. Of course, she did have one abortion during the marriage, and much later, after comparing notes based on things that were going on at the time, we realized that it probably wasn’t his child….


At 1:00 AM, CLovIS said…

It’s very interesting to watch the television programs the focus on buying/renovating homes. Observe the discussions that occur when the couples go and visit the houses on offer for example. The man will generally side with his wife/girlfriend with regard to his impressions of the house, or eventually change his opinion if there was an initial difference between them, so that it ends up matching hers.

One of the estate agents on a show actually went so far as to say that the woman is the one who will ultimately make the final decision over whether or not to buy a house – unless the female is convinced, there is no chance that the house will be bought. In this respect, ‘her’ decision carries more weight.

I already see this sort of behaviour developing with my younger brother – his girlfriend regularly stays over, his room is littered with her various items and the room itself has already been redecorated by her lol.

I’m not saying this is a bad thing. This may be a completely natural dynamic – women may well be nest builders, and have an inherent inclination to control this sphere of life where men may display a more apathetic attitude. We have all heard of “a woman’s touch” etc. If this develops into something more domineering however, I can imagine it would cause real problems.


At 4:06 PM, tanto said…

I am looking for a woman who can take care her husband and children.
Is it difficult to find a woman with these criteria?


At 5:54 PM, Anonymous said…

Have none of you guys ever read Jung ?
Come on, take some responsibility – stop whining and take the plunge to self realisation.


At 3:22 AM, arnold ziffel said…

On a related note, the following link on Yahoo that gives a pop quiz on a woman’s propensity to date bad boys. After I finished laughing I decided that I might just take a stab at a “I’m addicted to dating skanks” quiz. But Duncan, if you want to write the quiz, go ahead. You write better than I do. Bon apetit, mes amis.


At 6:33 AM, Angela Z said…

Simply amazing! Quit whining! I bet you could express YOUR ideas of what “your” house should look like if, just say, you would COMMUNICATE!

That’s an easy one.

I actually have an easier solution to your problem about your living conditions.

Get your lazy ass off the couch and away from whatever sporting event and head to your nearest furniture store, WITH HER, and just maybe, you might have a say in this matter.

Damn, own up! And grow up! Act like MEN!

Sorry, you enable us to control you because you are uninvolved…duh!

You guys are great. Great comic relief!


At 9:52 AM, Maximus said…

Hey guys, have a look at this just for fun if you haven’t already read it –


Men who defend their rights and patriarchy will have wymyn falling all over themselves to get at him. Women deeply desire strong men.

It just depends on how much YOU are prepared to allow them to manipulate you. Real men still do call the shots. Real wimps let bitches (like Lisa above) walk all over them. But women will take their rightful subservient role for any man, who has the guts to take command and state his case vocally.

Having said that, for God’s sake don’t get married right now – the mangina’s, Marxists and feminists have corrupted Family Law to the extent that only a total idiot/loser would ever marry a woman today – and yes, I do mean ANY woman.

It’s just not worth it, until “no-fault divorce” Family Law is smashed and revised to include a morally just “at-fault” clause, will it be safe to marry.

Cheers all, and for ef’s sake – DON’T GET MARRIED!


At 11:46 PM, Anonymous said…

Lisa is not the bitch here. The bitch here is Angela of the big mouth. (Angela, go **** yourself.) Lisa merely responded to her culture, which is what most men do. I am in another culture now, and years ago, no one was considered educated until they had spent time in another culture, because only then do you begin to understand your own.

Lisa has learned from us. She admits she is going to change. Don’t be knocking her down. It’s the American way to allow people to repent and change their ways. Lisa, consider your feet kissed by an old man via Internet.

Let me explain what this all means. When you force your husband’s stuff into the basement or garage, you are saying psychologically that he isn’t part of the family. That he doesn’t count; that his views don’t count.

Sure, your sense of decor may be superior. So what? Keep him in your family, and if someone criticizes you, tell her your husband is more important to you than she is.

100 years ago, men had barns and tool sheds. And, there was usually a mix of men from different generations. Grandfathers; fathers; sons; and grandsons; all on the same farm. A man could be a man amongst men, and boys could learn how to be men.

Today, boys see their dads pushed to the basement. They are told in school that boys are bad. They learn their lessons well. They don’t count; their wants and needs don’t count; then, they have to put up with insults from fiends like Angela, who tell them to be men.

Lisa, the main thing you need to know about most men is they will do almost anything to have peace in their home. They will try to overlook the most horrid nagging; large amounts of insults; having their good stuff all thrown out so you can put in your choice of stuff; no sex or almost none.

This takes me back to 1973, my first public statements on men’s rights. There was some discussion in the media about who was the head of the house. Guys I worked with all said they were.

I laughed, and told them they were lying sacks of ****. I told them I had visited many of them in their homes. We would go in, there would be (in 2007 dollars) thousands of dollars of nice furniture in the carpeted living room; a carpeted sewing room with thousands more dollars furniture; expensive bedroom sets; kitchen like out of a magazine.

Then, we’d go to his workshop. Down the steps, off in a dark corner behind the smelly furnace, by the leaky water pipes. There would be a work table made of pieces of wood dug out of the neighbors garbage, chairs with missing legs from the same source. There would be one plug in, usually an adaptor in the light fixture, with a horrid octopus thing hanging out. To run the meter, we’d have to unplug the oscilloscope.

And, you guys claim to be boss of your house. Stop lying.

I well knew how it was. My first wife and I had an old house, an old house with ten large rooms, and only four of us. But, my stuff had to go either in the basement, the type made of stone, not concrete, and when it rained, there was water running on the floor. Or in an unheated closet at the back of the upstairs, which got below zero in winter.

I visited guys whose stuff was in unheated garages, and they’d have heat lamps on extension cords from the house trying to keep from being frostbitten.

I learned. When I married my second wife, she tried to force me and my hobbies down stairs behind the furnace. I told her i simply wasn’t standing for being forced out of the family. (That’s what you do when you force a man to take his hobbies downstairs or in the garage.) My family needed me in their midst. She nagged, threatened me with divorce; all the usual crap. I didn’t move. I was there when anything important happened.


At 5:08 AM, Anonymous said…

Umm… Angela, usually the guy is at work when the b*tch goes to the store and spends all his money on stupid stuff, not watching TV.

You know… WORK.. That thing you lazy tax payer, C/S, vagina money funded ass tries to avoid at all costs.

Also that communication thing, or as women like to think of it, stomping screaming bitching and spewing out non-sensible crap until he “guesses” what you want. Yeah that.. It would be a lot easier if we weren’t talking to spoiled little brats that are incapable of a normal conversation!

And the reason we aren’t involved is because the moment we are involved you lot become abusive and try to use force and any form of abuse available to you to “win” the argument.


At 10:22 AM, Misogynic_Gent said…

Simply amazing! Quit whining! I bet you could express YOUR ideas of what “your” house should look like if, just say, you would COMMUNICATE!

Let’s communicate, Angelaz. Tell me, who is whining?

Most of us will never even face that problem, because marriage and cohabitation aren’t options. You should contemplate how off base your little rant appears to us ETERNAL BACHELORS.

You should also stop mindlessly parroting “quit whining.” Words have meaning and you need to exemplify exactly how they are whining.

That’s an easy one.

I have an easier one. Unless conditions change, we will forever remain single and have 100% say in what our home looks like. In essence, we will GO OUR OWN WAY. That is the fundamental point you seem to have missed.

I actually have an easier solution to your problem about your living conditions.

Who are you talking to?

Get your lazy ass off the couch and away from whatever sporting event and head to your nearest furniture store, WITH HER, and just maybe, you might have a say in this matter.

Are you confusing us with your husband? He might be afraid to say anything for reasons EB covered countless times before. Review the archives. With the facts in perspective, can you think of some reasons men might be afraid to make waves with their wives?

Damn, own up! And grow up! Act like MEN!

Own up to what? You should stop using this material to propel your hostilities, Angela. You appear to be using this subject as a platform to vent about something (possibly unrelated) that has ruffled your feathers.

Sorry, you enable us to control you because you are uninvolved…duh!

Again, men might be uninvolved for fear of upsetting their wives who stand to profit (on hubby’s back) from a government infringing divorce.

You guys are great. Great comic relief!

Many truths are illuminated through humour, so I hardly believe you consider this blog a joke. As they say, the closer to the truth, the closer to the nerve. The essence of your post emits animosity, not comic relief. . .

As far as I’m concerned, the purpose of this subject was to show men what they might face if they foolishly get married. The implications run deeper than cosmetics or home decor decisions.

Angela, good communication requires specifics and honesty, so let’s have both in your reply. Bye for now.

Dissecting the hollow words of fembots is an easy task but someone needs to do it. Now that we have an abundance of self-hanged fems, perhaps it’s time to initiate a zero tolerance policy for a while.

What I propose is making a few examples to keep the dimmer bots at bay. This of course requires pointing out what is blatantly obvious and rebutting their every moronic point. Hopefully they’ll get the clue and stop polluting my favorite blog with their typical trash talk and outright stupidity.

We wouldn’t want them as allies and they don’t even offer good counter-arguments. They leave much to be desired and when I first discovered this site I honestly expected much more from the opposition. Good riddance to ‘em.


At 2:12 PM, Lisa said…

Thanks anon@11:46. In truth, anyone can call me whatever name they please. I’m pretty happy with myself and my marriage and what I am doing everyday to make both better. It would be silly to think anyone here (male or female) is fault free and never selfish (whether intentional or subconsciously). It’s the human condition. As I’ve said before, we are all a product of the messages that have saturated our lives as we’ve grown. No one is in the clear here. No one can do no better than they are doing today. Admitting that the conversations here makes me think of things in my own life I have overlooked or turned a blind eye to doesn’t make me a bitch no matter what anyone says. I know for a fact it makes me smart. How much credibility would I even have here if I was Miss Polly Perfect all of the time. That’s not real folks. It’s not logical. It’s not true.

Anon, I agree that my husband would probably shrug off many of his needs and wants to keep a happy home. I see that in him and try not to abuse that fact. If I move a mile a minute and let myself forget, even for a minute, I could easily charge full steam ahead and convince myself he is okay with everything. And part of him would be for he doesn’t put alot of thought into what that means for him either. The truth of the matter is, I don’t want my husband’s life to be in our basement. I don’t want his likes confined to one room. Seriously, in my 35 years on this planet this discussion is the first one to ever cause me to think about the cause/effect of it all. Again, eye opening. My husband and I talked about it for all of 10 minutes. He didn’t think it was that big of a deal. The more I think of it, the more I disagree. I think he’s been told to believe it is no big deal for so long (all of his 38 years) that he simply doesn’t think about it anymore. Whether he acknowledges it or not, it’s got to have an effect on him so I’m going to take the reins on this issue and make sure there really is a blend in our house of him and me.


At 6:42 PM, Anonymous said…

Angela Z, just get YOUR whiney skank ass the fuck out of here! That’s an ORDER!! You want us to act like men used to?? GOOD! That means we can slap the shit out of cunts like you and the law won’t interfere. It’s YOU cry baby cunts that had to have the ENTIRE LAW amended to protect your widdle helpless victim selves from us real men. We men were able to keep society in line when we were able to keep the crappy femmie gender in line without being tossed in jail. Now, no man can even exercise being a MAN any more.

You cunts need to pay for your crimes against humanity. Those .000000000000000000001% that are still like Lisa are the ones we men will chivalrously take care of.


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