Toxic Wives II


——————————————————-

02 March 2007

toxic.jpg

Don’t fall for this deadly honey trap

PDF

You may not know one personally, but you will certainly have read about them. They are, increasingly these days, the figures who emerge triumphant from the divorce courts. They are the ones who get to keep the house (no mortgage), the cars (usually more than one), the staff (approaching double figures) and, more often than not, half the husband’s fortune, regardless of what she has done to contribute towards it. Toxic wives leave everything to their staff while they shop, lunch and luxuriate – and make their husbands’ lives a misery

I’m not talking about the ones who sacrificed careers at the altar of family life only to be cruelly abandoned when their useful days are done. I’m talking about the ones who knowingly take their husbands to the cleaners claiming, while they are at it, that they could do with £20 million or so to keep them in blow-drys. What kind of person actually needs £20 million for spending money? The Toxic Wife, that’s who.

Such was the furore earlier this year over my identification of Toxic Wife Syndrome in the pages of the Telegraph that it is clear I have hit a raw nerve. From the staggering response, from Japan to Iraq and America to Berkshire (where my article is now framed in the gentlemen’s loo of a Lambourn pub), there is little doubt about the course of action required: toxic wives must be weeded out.

Let me remind you what a toxic wife is – some of you got the wrong end of the stick when I first addressed this issue, thinking I was referring to all stay-at-home-mothers and housewives. Not a bit of it. I have every admiration for women who choose the selfless task of caring and nurturing the next generation. No, the toxic wife is a completely different species.

She is the woman who gives up work as soon as she marries, ostensibly to create a stable home environment for any children that might come along, but who then employs large numbers of staff to do all the domestic work she promised to undertake, leaving her with little to do all day except shop, lunch, luxuriate. Believe me, there is no shortage of the breed and I’ve been inundated with horror tales about them.

There is, for example, the TW who made around £30 million from only four years of marriage. Her husband couldn’t stand the way she was abusive to his staff, aggressive towards him and extravagantly indulgent with herself.

Then, there’s the ex-wife of a friend of mine, Belinda, who has been awarded several million pounds for a marriage that lasted less than three years and produced no children. The sum amounts to almost £5,000 for every day of marriage. No wonder her ex-husband, let’s call him Crispin, a City financier, is in despair. After reading the article he told me: ”Giving her £5 million for doing absolutely nothing except shop and lunch makes me question the sanity of our legal system.”

Of course, there is no fail-safe way of knowing what someone is like until you live with them, as Crispin says he discovered to his cost. ”She put a gun to my head and I took the bullet,” he admits. ”I think she must have been following the text book ‘How to trap your man’, because she refused to live with me until we got married. I made a stupid mistake and now I have to pay for it.”

Soon after their wedding, Belinda gave up work to care for the house. ”At first, I couldn’t understand why, because we had a cleaner who cleaned, a gardener who gardened and home cooking was provided by M&S,” says Crispin. ”Overnight she changed.

“Friends were no longer allowed to drop in like they used to – at least a week’s notice had to be given. Shoes had to be taken off at the front door. She became nagging, scolding, overbearing and shrewish. She made my life a misery. It pains me that this able-bodied, 40-year-old woman will be handsomely rewarded for the rest of her life – all at my expense. I feel as though I’m the victim of legally sanctioned burglary.”

Capturing a rich husband is seen as a legitimate career choice in itself. A 25-year-old banker friend told me that many girls don’t even bother getting a job after university – they stay on the party circuit until they’ve trapped their milch-cow.

”Just turn up at Mahiki, (the London nightclub frequented by Princes William and Harry) and you’ll find an army of potential TWs… they’re like a gang of seductive, pretty vampires who are sharpening their talons and teeth in a bid to catch a rich husband and then suck him dry of his hard-earned cash. It’s common knowledge now that one of the most lucrative careers a woman can have is to get married, have a child, and get divorced.”

Not only do ex-husbands of TWs get skinned alive when they divorce, the toxicity levels reach a poisonous high, goaded and condoned by society. Indeed, I heard of a high-profile divorce lawyer who said to the wife of an acquaintance of mine: ”When you leave my office you must hate your husband as much as possible.” How toxic can you get?

But TWs are not confined to the divorce courts – many of them are toxic mothers, too. Only this week, when I was trudging up Kensington Park Road, I spotted a serious TW. She was striding ahead of her beautiful young son, a bejewelled ear clasped to her mobile phone while her son pleaded: ”Mummy! Mummy! Won’t you hold my hand?”

”Oh stop being mental,” was her terse, distracted response.

Traipsing behind, the little boy burst into sobs. ”Oh do shut up,” she said, her voice thick with irritation.

Believe me, there is a completely different species out there. They may look human, in an artificially manufactured way, but they don’t seem tohave any conscience or interest in anything other than the trivial minutiae of their own existence and, naturally, how to hitch themselves to an alpha-male.

According to Susie Ambrose, who runs a ”gold-digger-vetting” business called Seventy Thirty, there are increasing amounts of women who are desperately materialistic and who have learnt the art of ”faking love”. They don’t want to marry for emotional support, intimacy or companionship; they are driven by monetary rewards. And, dear readers, they walk among us.

So how can you spot a potential toxic wife? I feel it is my duty to provide you with a checklist (courtesy of Susie Ambrose). This is vital reading material for all you potential husbands. Pay close attention; this is professional advice from an expert and it could save you millions – not to mention your sanity. And, women, too, take note – for it could save love and marriage from becoming things of the past.

HOW TO SPOT A TOXIC WIFE

1 Women who are secure in themselves and have a more developed emotional intelligence and personal depth do not feel the need to show off. Check whether or not she is festooned with ‘designer’ accessories. Listen carefully to what she says. How often does she name-drop?

2 On first acquaintance, she will want to find out if you’re rich or not. If you find yourself discussing your assets within the first 10 minutes you know her agenda. She is not going to waste time on you if you don’t have serious money.

3 She will flirt without first finding out if you’re married or involved with someone else. She has no scruples about stealing another woman’s man.

4 Even though she may have an impressive job, her main asset is sex. She will come on in a highly provocative manner, be wearing lots of make-up and revealing clothes. Potential toxic wives are extremely clever. Do not equate intelligence with emotional values and worth.

5 Often she will use the FSFM tactic (feel sorry for me). This will manifest itself on the second or third date. She wants to assess how generous you can be and will tell you how ”naïve” she is and how “misled” by some nasty people she owes money to. As a chivalrous male, you get out your chequebook.

6 You must find out how motivated she is. Ask her what her future goals, dreams and aspirations are.

7 Toxic gold-diggers tend to target older men. And your level of physical attractiveness makes no difference. Do you genuinely wildly arouse her or is this all an act?

8 She will choose the most expensive item on the menu or the most expensive drink.

9 Men, who have been recently widowed or divorced are great prey. You are at your most vulnerable.

10 Before you marry, go on holiday together or spend at least some time co-habiting. Remember, if you make a mistake you will pay for it for the rest of your life.

Might I add:

11 She’s Western and born after 1950.

Or a better piece of advice; assume most women are aspiring toxic-wives by default anyway and don’t have anything to do with them apart from the most casual of relationships (ideally, never let her find out where you live or work whilst you’re fucking her with a view to chucking her within a month.)

Like the first article on this subject, the writer does seem to concentrate on ultra-rich couples. Most of us guys could not afford maids and gardeners and such shit; with house prices the way they are in the UK, most of us can barely afford a home on our sole salary. However, though there are only a tiny number of men who could support a wife, a big mortgage and ‘staff’, there are many women – virtually all of them in fact – who want such a man, and indeed believe they are entitled to one (and if they don’t get one, bitch endlessly that there are ‘no good men left’, often in front of their boyfriend in order to belittle him and shame him into working harder to fulfil her demented fantasy of mindless consumerism.

Actual toxic wives as described in the above article are small in number, but only because the men to provide their lifestyles are small in number. However, pretty much every young woman in the West is an aspiring toxic-wife.

Finally, read this quote again.

Indeed, I heard of a high-profile divorce lawyer who said to the wife of an acquaintance of mine: ”When you leave my office you must hate your husband as much as possible.’

Burn that into your head. That’s the advice your wife will no doubt get if it comes to a divorce. Bear in mind that also that she probably won’t need that advice. Even if your only fault was to not fulfill your wife’s endless (and often self-contradictory) demands, or that your wife happened to find a guy a bit more handsome/richer than you, she’ll probably hate you already before she even files for divorce.

Stay single.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 11:49 AM
——————————————————-

At 3:06 PM, Anonymous said…

Marriage adds nothing to a man’s life but risk and obligation.

——————————————————-

At 4:38 PM, Anonymous said…

Great article. How about these simple rules?

– If she wears ANY makeup at all avoid.

– If she EVER wears any fashionable or sexed-up clothing avoid.

– If you cannot PERSONALLY OBSERVE her cook meal after meal from scratch avoid.

– Any decision for her to be promoted from girlfriend MUST occur after a FOUR YEAR trial period.

Those above qualities to a GoldDigger are like silver and holy water to a Vampire. There is NO WAY they could put up a charade for 4 years. Impossible. GoldDiggers want to work fast. Women of quality are willing to go it slow.

I like the idea about a detective agency for GoldDiggers.

One next step would be a Womens Standards Board (WSB) where men can go to get evaluation of prospective girlfriends. Males who are not emotionally involved with the female will be able to give a more objective evaluation of her + provide a test regime the client can use to evaluate her fitness. Women confer with each other all the time about men. Time for men to start talking with each other about women. LOL.

——————————————————-

At 4:52 PM, Anonymous said…

Quoted:

Capturing a rich husband is seen as a legitimate career choice in itself. A 25-year-old banker friend told me that many girls don’t even bother getting a job after university – they stay on the party circuit until they’ve trapped their milch-cow.

”Just turn up at Mahiki, (the London nightclub frequented by Princes William and Harry) and you’ll find an army of potential TWs… they’re like a gang of seductive, pretty vampires who are sharpening their talons and teeth in a bid to catch a rich husband and then suck him dry of his hard-earned cash. It’s common knowledge now that one of the most lucrative careers a woman can have is to get married, have a child, and get divorced.”

There you go, chaps. Spoken like rehearsed. Totally indicative of her own parasitic gender.

Need any more be said….??

GYOW…and never look back.

——————————————————-

At 5:43 PM, NHY said…

Its sad but I know of at least one such girl in my year group in college that fulfills all the requirements for a potential TW. She goes as far as saying ‘ I want to marry a rich guy in 10 years and quit working! ‘

When I questioned what SHE was willing to do for the guy in return ( ie, housework ), she told me something more or less around the lines of ‘ Well, thats what maids are for! ‘ ( I think you can figure out the rest )

Stupid girl, wait for the shock she is in for when either she can’t find a sucker OR when the revolution occurs, which going to happen sooner, rather than later.

——————————————————-

At 6:38 PM, Anonymous said…

The tide is turning. Such articles would not have been possible some time ago.

——————————————————-

At 7:15 PM, Anonymous said…

I don’t see how you can blame these women for being what they are. They would not be doing this if it did not work. The suckers keep getting married to the gold diggers so more power to them. Those men get what they deserve because they are stupid. Just don’t be a sucker. Stay single, don’t get married.

——————————————————-

At 8:10 PM, Anonymous said…

Longtime lurker here. Great site by the way.

I am a happily married man – 20 years this August. I married a wonderful woman who is so unlike every other one I see out there. I am pretty sure that if I were to find myself single right now, I would never marry again.

This is doubly true now that I have money behind me. I found my wife when I was poor (sometimes having to dumpster dive to eat poor), and we dated for 4.5 years before getting married – both excellent ways to avoid TW’s.

She was a child of divorces parents, but her father had custody (extremely, extremely rare here in Canada). Custody was only given to him after her mother decided that the kids were getting in the way of a full-time life of booze and drugs.

Agreed with a lot of the comments above:
– never wears makeup
– cooks from scratch
– has a great relationship with her father (as do I)
– has a terrible relationship with her mother (non-speaking)
– never once pressured me into a commitment
– was perfectly well aware of the fact that I had no money (at the time of dating)
– does not drink or party
– has always given at least as much as she takes
– is logical (imagine that!)
– is sure to make sure that we do stuff that I want as well as what she wants and always is looking for overlap
– is almost as cheap as I am, even when we were dating and it was my money (she was in school)

I only found this blog through a link on another website that I frequent (a financial one), and have been alarmed at how extremely lucky I was to have found the woman that I have.

Guys, there are a few good women out there, but they do seem to be pretty rare.

Anyway, I always wanted to leave a message to say keep fighting the good fight. Even some of us happily married guys have eyes and can see what it is like out there.

——————————————————-

At 8:54 PM, Anonymous said…

I’m also blessed with a wife who is even cheaper than I am. While other girls I dated insisted on expensive restaurants and then took maybe two or three bites, my sweetheart brought along her two-for-one coupons and packed up any leftovers for lunch the next day.

I knew I couldn’t pass her up. Almost ten years later about the only money issue we have is that I still can’t get her to spend any!

What a jewel.

Richard

——————————————————-

At 9:30 PM, Anonymous said…

The saddest part of that article was about the kid whose mother yelled at him for wanting to hold her hand.

——————————————————-

At 9:37 PM, Anonymous said…

Duncan, I don’t know what a picture of two poodles has to do with all this?

🙂

——————————————————-

At 10:27 PM, Anonymous said…

I am a happily married man – 20 years this August. I married a wonderful woman who is so unlike every other one I see out there. I am pretty sure that if I were to find myself single right now, I would never marry again.

Congrats and welcome! Has your wife expressed to you an opinion about modern women? The direction of the current relations between men and women??

——————————————————-

At 12:23 AM, Anonymous said…

I am a happily married man – 20 years this August. I married a wonderful woman who is so unlike every other one I see out there. I am pretty sure that if I were to find myself single right now, I would never marry again.

Congrats and welcome! Has your wife expressed to you an opinion about modern women? The direction of the current relations between men and women??

Thanks. She actually has quite a realistic outlook regarding feminism, she believes in equality of access, not equality of results, that men and women are different beyond the physical differences and believes that everyone has a duty to earn their own keep.

She agrees with my basic outlook on the dating pool that there are a good number of guys who are just jerks, but that women are (in general) a bunch of pampered entitlement princesses with dollar signs in their eyes.

The biggest (no pun intended) thing that we have both noticed is the increased weight of young women. We noticed it in the late 1980’s in the US on our trips there, and it has moved up here in Canada as well in the 1990’s. We are not talking just not pencil thin, we are talking 200+ pounds. Our inside joke is for me to see one of these women and me to tell my wife that “she is twice the woman you are”.

We both agree that modern women are not worth the effort. I often tell her about the articles linked to on this site and she is disgusted with how things have turned out in the UK. We thought it was bad here, but it appears to be far worse there.

——————————————————-

At 12:27 AM, Legion said…

Be careful. I dated a woman in 2005 that didn’t wear makeup, spent little money and didn’t ask a penny from her previous boyfriend.

She started getting religion, then suddenly wanted a big ring and marriage. She wanted to get married at a special chapel in the country. She wanted an expensive honeymoon, a pre-nup to protect her assets, and we had to live where she wanted.

It’s always the same. You never know when they will change.

When men say “I love you and want to marry you so we can spend many years together.”, women hear this as a sign to start making demands.

That is what’s wrong.

——————————————————-

At 3:06 AM, Angela Z said…

Let’s talk toxic husbands……….hmmmm? I know your posts do not apply to me because I was one of those women and still am one of those women who are 100% responsible for their children, household and own their own business.

Toxic husbands, or my choice words………..Dead-beat Dad are those who once, ONCE, were involved in their kids’ lives. Now, they have a girlfriend, which is sooo, sooo fine by me. In fact I would love to send her a gift basket with wine for helping me rid the lazy, slob from my life. But, she now takes priority over his kids. And to help indulge her into his life and make her so happy, he is now 5 months in the rears with child support.

I just wish there were some gold to dig when I first married. Being a toxic wife is sure better off financially than being the bank of Angie.

And anonymous comment # 2, I cook EVERYTHING from scratch, wear makeup and am quite fashionable. Can we start a detective agency for poster child, mid-life crisis, dead-beat dads?

Sign me up! No bitterness here!

——————————————————-

At 3:21 AM, Angela Z said…

Well, I don’t know what just happened to the comment I posted a few minutes ago, but in a nutshell:

I know your post does not apply to me because I was and still am the person solely responsible for my children and home. I never gold-digged, because, well their was no gold TO dig.

Now, what about toxic husbands????? Hmmmmm? I call them dead beat dads! You know, the ones that feel that divorce (in process) means divorcing their children and financial responsibility to them? That is what I am going through right now.

I never saw it coming because, at one time, he was involved with them. That was before the girlfriend came into play and all indulgences, physically, financially and emotionally, are now directed towards her. Personally, I would love to send her a gift basket and a nice bottle of wine thanking her for helping get that lazy, stalking man OUT of my life. I moved on years ago!

But his kids? That is absurd!

Now, anonymous#2…………read this: I am a woman who:::::: get this:::::: makes EVERYTHING from scratch…excellent chef, wears make-up AND dresses fashionably AND owns her own business. Yet, I am not gold digging and am a great mom!

You talk about a detective agency for GoldDiggers? Why not one for poster child, mid-life crisis, dead beat dads? Sign me up!!!!!

No bitterness here! Thank you, kindly for reminding me that sexism is alive and STILL kicking!

——————————————————-

At 3:26 AM, Anonymous said…

Another great post from Duncan!!

Toxic Wives, and Gold Diggers have turned the once respected institution of marriage into nothing more than legalised prostitution. However, in fairness to prostitutes at least you know where you stand with them ie.pay me money,I then give you sex.

Seb
Sydney, NSW
Australia

——————————————————-

At 10:39 AM, Anonymous said…

Quote:

Has your wife expressed to you an opinion about modern women?

Hey..don’t even go THERE…why fix it if not broken…don’t even encourage her to have any contact with the enemy 😉

——————————————————-

At 11:10 AM, Anonymous said…

“When men say “I love you and want to marry you so we can spend many years together.”, women hear this as a sign to start making demands.

That is what’s wrong.” – Legion

This is one of the reasons why was hesitant to state “I love you” to any woman. In fact, it’s been years.

It seems to be the cue for them to start slowly bulldozing you.

SR

——————————————————-

At 12:34 PM, Anonymous said…

Anon 7:15 Quote:…
They would not be doing this if it did not work….

So,if you can get away with murder -that would be OK then ??
Ever heard of morality ??
or come to think of it reasonableness
or fairness??
Don’t blame the victim(s) here..the legal system as colluded in extortion..plain and simple
5k

——————————————————-

At 4:33 PM, Anonymous said…

Ahh, Angela Z is indeed bitter, and a serial liar to boot.

Notice how she just happens to be totally diametric to the truth about toxic wives?

Gee, the corollary must then be stated as “toxic husbands”. Of course.

This is a real kicker:

“I am a woman who:::::: get this:::::: makes EVERYTHING from scratch…excellent chef, wears make-up AND dresses fashionably AND owns her own business. Yet, I am not gold digging and am a great mom!”

Yeeaahh…suuuure you are. PROOF???

Try again, “Angela”. Your narcissism has us barfing.

Oh, last but NOT least:

“Thank you, kindly for reminding me that sexism is alive and STILL kicking!”

Yes. Thank you Angela, for trying to mask femmie hypocrisy yet again. DO keep going…

Hmhmhmhmh…

——————————————————-

At 4:47 PM, mfsob said…

angela_z, you are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

——————————————————-

At 5:03 PM, Christopher in Oregon said…

To all men:

Being older than most of you, I would remind you that ALL women, no matter how nice, have the nature of the chameleon. They will change when you least expect it. So, bravo to those of you who feel you have decent wives.

However, if you give her a reason- any reason at all- she’ll turn on you like a pissed off cougar. Don’t ever drop your guard. Just as with the supposedly tame mountain lion, she can change in the blink of an eye- with devastating results.

(We’ve got a butt load of cougars in my neck of the woods, so that’s why the analogy.)

——————————————————-

At 5:04 PM, Mark said…

@ Seb
“Toxic Wives, and Gold Diggers have turned the once respected institution of marriage into nothing more than legalised prostitution.”

I disagree. Toxic wives are FAR worse than prostitutes:
1. Prostitutes work for what they want, toxic wives all too frequently do not.
2. Prostitutes are honest about what they want and what they are prepared to offer in return.
3. A prostitute sticks to the agreement she made: she does what she said she’d do and she doesn’t come back expecting – no, make that demanding – to get paid again and again for no further effort on her part.
4. A prostitute pays her way whereas a toxic wife merely leaves a trail of bills behind her for someone else to pick up.

Undoubtedly there will be those who claim that the guys know what they are getting and thus ‘good luck’ to these women, but that misses the point. If the guys really did know what was coming, yet went ahead anyway, then they struck a bad bargain and more fool them, but what those guys have is merely a high maintenance wife, not a toxic wife. A toxic wife is someone who plans and implements a deliberate set of actions with the specific intention of entrapping and, ultimately, defrauding someone – though they won’t call it that, of course. They actively target high income/high net worth individuals and then promise what they have no intention of delivering, with the specific intent of availing themselves of the benefits of that person’s wealth and assets. In short, toxic wives are fraudsters who, on the totem pole of morality, are right down there with thieves. Prostitutes are way, way higher up than that.

——————————————————-

At 5:33 PM, Lisa said…

Angela, I’m sad for your children whatever the reason is for their father not having a presence in their lives. Kids need their fathers. If there is anything you can think of in your mind that could be pushing him away (other than the girlfriend), please do what you can to change the circumstance.

You may feel your husband was toxic. It is hard to comment since there is no way to know your true circumstances. I would like to encourage you to stop and realize how many more resources you have at your feet than your husband has should he view you as toxic. That’s what the men’s rights movement is really about. It’s not to say all women are bad and all men are perfect. At the end of the day, as much as I’m sad for your situation, you have many outlets/agencies/resources looking out for your interests. Men who have found themselves married to women who betray the relationship and their trust, they have nothing to protect them or aid them. They will lose custody, house and finances no matter how bad their wife was.

——————————————————-

At 7:37 PM, Lisa said…

Anon @ 8:10, I loved your post. It made me smile to read. Just in reading your words I can sense the pride you have in your wife and how much you value her. It is the same feeling I get from my husband and it makes my heart sing. I am proud of him and he is proud of me. I respect my husband and he respects me. The balance makes our marriage strong and rewarding.

Feminists pounce on me when I talk about how much I value my husband’s pride in me. It’s as if I’ve sold my soul to the devil. They feel for a man to be proud of his wife this way it must mean she is submissive and marginalized. Not so at all! I have a voice in my home. I’m not beaten or abused. I love taking care of my husband as he takes care of me in other ways. I love being thrifty for I feel we are then partners in an end goal. Besides, since we have no debt, my husband is able to be home often. I think it’s ironic when women spend their husbands into 60 hour work weeks and then complain that they are never home to help with the kids. Duh?!!!

The cooking thing really gets me. I love to cook for my husband. Food is basically what we are made of. It controls our health and our mood. Eating is one of the most important things we do. Why wouldn’t I want to play a big role in what my family puts in their mouths? It’s such an intimate thing.

One of my friends was talking about how she wasn’t going to cook for her husband anymore because he was always complaining and turning up his nose. Though it was rude of him to do so, I had to ask her the all important question. Does the food you make taste good? Hah, even she admitted it was so-so. You see, she never had anyone to teach her the basics. Every meal was coming from the microwave and the George Forman. Big thanks to feminism for making it evil to teach women how to feed their families. Isn’t it just wonderful how fat, broke and unhealthy we’ve all become because women have been rescued from the hells of kitchens and pans. I walked her a few of the basics and now she is experimenting with all sorts of things. She and her husband are having more meals together and…wait for it…talking! Because she isn’t buying expensive processed food or take out so much anymore, their budget is less strained too. One less thing to argue about. She tells me all of the time that her husband considers me the best friend she has and I’ll be darned if I’m going to disagree.

——————————————————-

At 8:46 PM, BR said…

So, let me get this straight, Angie…you’re calling us sexist because we acknowledge the misbehavior of women, in a society which turns a blind eye to such things? Riiight.

Use your head for something other than keeping your hair up; it’d be sexist NOT to acknowledge the evils women can do, you’re not giving them enough credit to be as capable of evil as anyone, not to mention more likely to get away with it in the current social clime.

But yeah, we’re sexist. Right. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, bitch.

——————————————————-

At 11:45 PM, Anonymous said…

Anon @ 8:10, I loved your post. It made me smile to read. Just in reading your words I can sense the pride you have in your wife and how much you value her. It is the same feeling I get from my husband and it makes my heart sing. I am proud of him and he is proud of me. I respect my husband and he respects me. The balance makes our marriage strong and rewarding.

Thanks Lisa.

It is nice to know that there are other women around who view marriage as a bona fide partnership rather than a ticket to the easy life.

I am also not naive enough to draw any great conclusions from a sample of one. I have had many, many confrontations with feminists (the rabid kind) who fail to realize that men like myself are their greatest allies if what they are seeking is true equality, not special privileges. I just don’t argue with them any more – it is not worth the effort.

Well anyway, I just wanted to pipe up and say that there are the occasional gems out there.

——————————————————-

At 1:06 AM, k-dog said…

Anonymous 12:23 am said:

“The biggest (no pun intended) thing that we have both noticed is the increased weight of young women. We noticed it in the late 1980’s in the US on our trips there, and it has moved up here in Canada as well in the 1990’s. We are not talking just not pencil thin, we are talking 200+ pounds.”

LOL. At grocery stores in my neck of the woods I regularly see 300+ pound women who use an electric scooter or one of the store’s electric carts to go shopping. Invariably they are in one of the food aisles, and it’s hard to miss them, even from a distance. Of course, the last thing they need is to be riding while shopping. Walking is good exercise. My belief is that scooters and electric carts should be reserved for the truly handicapped who can’t walk, not for those who choose not to walk—and demonstrate that by becoming as wide as they are tall.

In the interests of full disclosure, I must note that I’ve had a problem with obesity my whole life, and I’m in my 40s now. But I don’t let that be an excuse to be inactive. At the car swap meets (autojumbles) in Hershey and Carlisle in Pennsylvania that I regularly attended until last year, I routinely walked the whole field, which translates into 20+ miles of walking at Carlisle and 30+ miles at Hershey (the latter over two days). No scooters for me! And this was while pulling a cart for car-related goodies I would find. In my work in corrections I had to be able to lift and carry another person in an emergency. No excuses for me! These days I have to handle my stepfather and mother at home, whom I care for full-time. I also cook (for all three of us) and eat healthy things, at least most of the time, and we simply don’t normally get things such as potato chips (crisps) for snacks.

Needless to say, I get a little peeved at those flabby, pasty-faced, quintuple-chinned, heavy-assed women sitting in a scooter shopping for a five-pound box of bon-bons. Some catch they are. And you just know they would be a toxic wife.

——————————————————-

At 8:47 AM, Masculist Man said…

Okay anonymous 7:15 PM, I can say the following:

Don’t blame men who rape,it’s just who they are so accept it. If women didn’t want to be raped then they wouldn’t wear revealing clothing and since women do this they must loved being raped so let’s legalize misogynistic rape because it is what these women deserve. More power to the male rapists.

——————————————————-

At 6:12 AM, Angela Z said…

I love all of you “men” who hide behind anonymity(?) (Can’t get spell check working). Do you actually have the stones to reveal your shallow selves? I am not in any way, narcissistic. I am a woman who does it all. And the part about preparing everything from scratch????? I am a professional chef who owns HER own catering business, employs her children and pays EVERY bill and/or expense in my household.

Men (not all, thankfully) need to seriously wake up and take care of their responsibilities………..children, decaying house, etc. I spend a lot each month to keep this family afloat…..without any and I mean any support. Yes, I know there are agencies that could help my cause but the lag time (ie paper work sitting on some cow’s desk) is just unreasonable. The retained attorney will handle all of that for me. And, yes, I am footing the bill on that one as well……gold digger, yeah, right! Show me the gold!!!!!

Also, explain to me why “men” find it so convenient to spew the “b” word when a woman expresses her opinion? You may not agree with me and frankly I seriously don’t care, but name calling just furthers you into the “little man” category. (see articles/pics regarding to: no testicles).

Thank God, the man that I have been seeing is a real man who takes care of his family (own children, grand children and dying mother). That is a real MAN. Not some whiny, snivelly, “the world is out to get me” dead-beat. Oh, BTW::::: He Loves my cooking (FROM SCRATCH) the fact that I wear make-up and dress fashionably.

I seriously hope that most of the men that “patronize” this blog never marry and please, do this world a favor and NEVER reproduce. I would hate to see another generation of shallow, sexist pigs who hide behind “Anonymous.” Grow some stones, gentlemen…..ewww bad choice of word. Neither gentle and certainly, not men!

You get what you deserve! hope she takes you for all you are worth. Too bad that most of you are worth nothing.

——————————————————-

At 7:46 AM, Anonymous said…

awww…dont listen ot br Angie, as a liberated woman, you feel free to let the door hit you in the ass on the way out bitch!

——————————————————-

At 8:07 AM, Anonymous said…

Mark said:

@ Seb
“Toxic Wives, and Gold Diggers have turned the once respected institution of marriage into nothing more than legalised prostitution.”

I disagree. Toxic wives are FAR worse than prostitutes:
1. Prostitutes work for what they want, toxic wives all too frequently do not.
2. Prostitutes are honest about what they want and what they are prepared to offer in return.
3. A prostitute sticks to the agreement she made: she does what she said she’d do and she doesn’t come back expecting – no, make that demanding – to get paid again and again for no further effort on her part.
4. A prostitute pays her way whereas a toxic wife merely leaves a trail of bills behind her for someone else to pick up.

Undoubtedly there will be those who claim that the guys know what they are getting and thus ‘good luck’ to these women, but that misses the point. If the guys really did know what was coming, yet went ahead anyway, then they struck a bad bargain and more fool them, but what those guys have is merely a high maintenance wife, not a toxic wife. A toxic wife is someone who plans and implements a deliberate set of actions with the specific intention of entrapping and, ultimately, defrauding someone – though they won’t call it that, of course. They actively target high income/high net worth individuals and then promise what they have no intention of delivering, with the specific intent of availing themselves of the benefits of that person’s wealth and assets. In short, toxic wives are fraudsters who, on the totem pole of morality, are right down there with thieves. Prostitutes are way, way higher up than that.

5:04 PM

Thank you for replying to my post Mark. Yes, your reply to my original post is what I meant to have said ie.that Prostitutes are far more honourable (in terms of decency & morality) than your Toxic Wife . I apologise for my original choice of words.

Regards
Seb,
Sydney NSW
Australia

——————————————————-

At 12:04 AM, Anonymous said…

so, Angela, if you make all that money, why would you expect a man to send you money? Why should another human being put his own life on hold for the privilege of sending you money when you don’t even need it?

I certainly hope you don’t have sons. If you do they are going to be worthless trash.

I can give a good reason why your ex might not have anything to do with your obnoxious little jerks. It’s called Parental Alienation Syndrome.

——————————————————-

At 1:17 AM, Panzer said…

“Do you actually have the stones to reveal your shallow selves? “

The handle is Panzer, Im six foot, one hundred and forty five pounds, blonde hair, hazel eyes, thirty five years old, I work construction, and I am bitter as hell! Anything else you want to know?

Panzer

——————————————————-

At 12:52 PM, K. said…

“I am not in any way, narcissistic. I am a woman who does it all”

HAHAHAH! I read no further. I could scream all day about what a “wonderful” person I am, but do you see me doing that? No? Learn some humility for god’s sake!

——————————————————-

At 2:28 PM, Lisa said…

Angela, why…why…why…why…why?

You are going to read all of the points and comments here and pat yourself on the back for identifying those here as jerks. You need to give a moments thought to how you have behaved. You pop in from out of the blue on a site that is primarily a support mechanism for men who are being marginalized and are suffering injustices and cruelties. You never even gave word one to commenting on the needs and situations of those here…who the site was designed for. You jumped right into discussing YOU and YOUR situation. Is your situation the only one that counts? Do you really expect anyone to empathize with your circumstances when you have shown no need to do the same? You might as well have said any problems the men here are facing are null and void for the moment because Angela Z needs some support. Do you feel your situation with your ex makes the problem of men marrying toxic wives invalid? Do you think the fact you don’t have time to access the resources you have at your fingertips makes it more fair that men simply have none? You’ve just shown up here and poo-poo’d the needs of the men. Since their needs weren’t considered by you, they switched to name calling. Then, your needs weren’t met so you switched to name calling too.

What frustrates me is when successful women like yourself suddenly play dumb on how their actions effect, or could be interpreted by, others. It makes me wonder if you’ve done the same with your ex and simply not realized it. Perhaps you’ve marginalized his circumstances and feelings too. It’s the kind of thing that shuts people down and makes them not care to listen anymore.

I hope you think about what I’ve said for I’m not trying to be mean or nasty. I’m just noting a simple observation.

——————————————————-

At 7:38 PM, Anonymous said…

Hey “Angela” cunt. What the hell does anonymity have to do with anything??? Why do our titles matter?? Does that mask the truth about your shitty self?? We’ve all called you a bitch because you’ve DESERVED IT!

We’re STILL waiting for you to PROVE that you have any of the aforementioned “success” (laugh) you so ramble on about. You don’t have the cunt lips to do so??? Did you bite them off? I imagine you had to bite those bloody sewer lips off of yourself to mask the putrid flavor of the imaginary “cuisine” you’ve never had the talent to produce. Tsk, tsk. Such shame.

Only proof will set you free. But alas, you’re just a bloody sewer snot.

C’mon “Angela”. Get REAL mad, now. We’re waiting……

*snicker*

——————————————————-

At 8:30 AM, Angela Z said…

Lisa: I feel sorry for you. I truly hope that you have a man that truly loves AND respects you for you. Doesn’t want to change you! At all! He loves YOU for YOU.. I truly hope that you are not some door mat, 70 years ago, passive aggressive woman…………sorry, but YOU, the passive aggressive ones? Are the ones who give a real woman a bad name You play games. Be yourself. Be honest. Damnit, express yourself and do not be afraid He will still love you depending on what kinda man He is.
I do love men and can not live with out them……….however, REAL men. Those that take care of their families, unconditionally and love unconditionally. I seriously hope you significant other fall into this category and have a man IN this category.

Don’t sympathize or patronize me. I am fine and will be fine. I just think we live in a sick society that rewards men for NOT living up to THEIR obligations nor fulfilling them. But those are my rants and opinions.

Agree or disagree…………I don’t care. Just don’t reduce yourself further to name calling.

Lisa: The above statement does not directly apply to you. It applies to the little men who patronize this sexist blog.

Men who patronize this blog: Thank you so much for making it so clearly known you don’t want to get married and you seriously hate women. Thank you for the warning. You did US a HUGE favor!!!! Seriously, no one would want your sexist ass! Seriously!

Duncan::::::::: Easy one! Does not take a over priced shrink to figure out your problem. I would hate women also if my mom named me “Duncan”.

I hear you you. You are in so much pain. Might as well be a bulls eye. In my neighborhood,where i grew up, you would have been beaten daily just on your name: Duncan! That is one bulls-eye.!!!! Hit you baby! Hit you again………pig!

Ciao, angie

——————————————————-

At 7:22 PM, Lisa said…

Angela, I’m disappointed in your last post. I offered you fair, logical and constructive feedback on your original approach to those who participate here. You conveniently chose to ignore those words and proclaim me a doormat. It’s not women like me that hold others back. It’s women who can never accept or acknowledge that they’ve handled something poorly or made a mistake. The modern woman can do no wrong. If she does wrong, there must be some justifiable cause of her actions; therefore, she receives little to no consequence. The trouble is, Angela, women are human. Humans make mistakes all of the time. You made a mistake in how you initially addressed the members of this board and you would rather call names and hand out unwarranted pity than accept you made a boo-boo.

Now I have constructively and peacefully offered you two nuggets of feedback that would benefit you to consider. The first was your initial action of minimizing the problems of the men here by making your maiden post here about you without any regard, consideration or acknowledgment of the members’ challenges. The second nugget is your apparent inability to accept you could have handled your participation here better.

Let me assure you I am far from a doormat. In fact, I contend I have more power than the modern woman. You want to know why? I have a strong marriage. We have no debt. I have a healthy and happy family. Most importantly, my husband actually hears and listens to my views and ideas. For all of her supposed power, the modern woman is rarely heard by her husband because she rarely shows any appreciation or respect; therefore, she gets little in return. Appreciation and respect can move mountains, Angela. Mountains. Modern women are hard pressed to move an ant hill for they give so little out they can hardly receive any in return.

You can plug your ears and repeat “I don’t hear you” over and over if you like. It’s up to you.

Adios,

Lisa

——————————————————-

%d bloggers like this: