Oedipus Schmoedipus


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11 May 2007

One thing we often hear burbling from the incessently flapping gobs of women is that us men want a wife who’ll basically be like our mothers, that us “silly stupid little men” just want a mummy rather than a wife. That old hag, whatsername, Maureen Dowd, specifically said as much during one of the regular anti-male tirades she indulges in to push all the blame for her own spinsterhood onto us men.

This, of course, is a load of bollocks.

If us men wanted to marry a woman who would basically replace our mother, who would essentially be more of a mum than a wife, then surely we would be going after middle-aged women. But we don’t. We go after young women. Perky 16-22-year-old women. Always have, always will.

Perhaps emasculated young men seek a mother-figure in a wife/girlfriend, but proper normal men – certainly those raised by a healthy father and not just a single mother – want a young woman who’ll be a wife/girlfriend.

Admittedly, when seeking a wife, us men will look out for maternal skills and characteristics – such as a caring nature and fondness and patience towards children – but that’s not for our benefit, that’s for our future children’s benefit. After all, us men don’t want an uncaring ball-busting harpy being the mother of our kids…nor, indeed, do we want to put up with such a woman as a wife.

If us men did want to marry a mother figure to take care of us and control our lives, then surely aging women like Maureen Dowd and her ilk wouldn’t be single. The fact that they are is because us men – such as as Miss Dowd’s former boyfriend and potential husband (in her view), Michael Douglas – seek young women, who’ll be mothers to our children, not to us.

If anything, we want to marry women who won’t try to be like mothers towards us. After all, mothers are controlling; they tell you what to do, what to eat, whether you can or can’t go out, and nag at you and try to shame you if you do something wrong. We don’t want that crap.

Not that I’m having a go at mothers and their regular demands to “don’t do that!” incidentally. After all, when we’re kids – especially under the age of five – we need someone to tell us what to do, what not to do, what to eat, when we can’t go out, and basically control our lives. Otherwise we’d probably just eat sweets for every meal, play carelessly near busy roads, or try to answer the age-old question of whether the light goes out in a refrigerator when the door is shut by climbing inside one and ordering a mate to shut the door after us, or some other dumb shit.

However, when we’ve grown up, we’ve figured out how to take care of ourselves, what we should and shouldn’t do, that the question of whether the refrigerator light goes off when the door is shut is an elusive an answer as the square root of -1, and all that stuff. So mother is no longer needed. So why on earth – again, assuming he is a well-rounded and non-emasculated shadow of a man – would a guy want another mother in his life trying to control him as an adult? We want the opposite thankyouverymuch.

Women’s accusations that us men are all seeking to marry a mother-figure is, of course, primarily just shaming language, an attempt by uncaring, obnoxious harpies who have left marriage a little too late to try and shame men into marrying them, and not the few remaining caring and submissive (at least on the surface) young women around.

Plus it’s a little bit of projection too.

After all, is it not fairer to say that women essentially want to marry their fathers? Or, specifically, a man who’ll treat them as their father did?

They go after older guys, often quite significantly older; I know women in their twenties dating guys in their thirties or forties, and George Clooney and Brad Pitt, although in their forties, have plenty of women half their age drooling over them and fantasising about relationships with them.

A father – if he’s a good one – will provide for his daughter and protect her. When a woman seeks a husband, she’ll invariably want a guy who’ll provide for her, and protect her. Just like daddy used to.

On the other hand, us men want to marry young ladies who are nothing like our mothers (albeit who’ll mature to be good mothers to our children.)

Us men want to marry our mothers? Bollocks.

When women are indulging in such nonsense accusations of us guys wanting to marry the opposite sex parent, it’s just a bit of good ol’ shaming language to try and stop us from dating/marrying a “submissive” woman (i.e. one who isn’t a fucked up ball-busting bitch) mixed in with a big dose of projection.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 8:50 PM
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At 11:00 PM, Field Marshall Watkins said…

Duncan, excellent post!

Projection indeed, which is something women these days seem to do alot. Of course. Men become independent and their own selves, no longer needing (or wanting) a women barking orders.

Women on the other hand (being consistently infantile) and insecure, will always want/ need a man for the protection/ strength/ (more like money though) man to ‘do all the hard stuff’ so she can continue being smothered and spoilt.

End of frikkin’ story! Yet another feminist myth blown out of the water. And it didn’t even need a Govt. funded study. Just good ol’ common sense and logical, rational though. Which, consequently, is one of the major things lacking sorely in manginas and most women.

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At 11:56 PM, scream4056 said…

hey duncan i know this is off topic but I had to show you this.

A woman who had sex with her boyfriend’s brother in her darkened room late one night claimed she was raped, saying the man tricked her into the act by impersonating her boyfriend.

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At 2:57 AM, Anonymous said…

The argument, men would search a partner like their mothers, is old and as scientific as the Pease-books. It’s main purpose is to give feminists an explain why men reject them. First, they don’t want be like the generation of their mothers – actually, feminists hate women of the older generations, because they were – in their opinion – so subordinated and weak. To proof themselves they are strong, they do all sorts of shit, especially to men, and afterwards call themself “strong”. Whoo, that lifts the ego! Do what you please, be not reliable, have no problem to decide when ever what ever you like, even if you promised something else – thats the image of “strong” (in women, and of course very bad in men) to them. Seeing that men more and more refuse to live together with such rotten piece of inconsiderateness is of course a slap in the painted face of these egoistic “power women”. But, unable to think so far (because everything they do is “good”, and “strong” women do what they want, never considering others) the only explanation can emphasize the fault of men, and if they don’t want to be together with such strong and powerful and great modern women as they are it is of course because they search something like their own mommies. So the feminists “logic” goes. I like these cliches, really. It shows once more the desperateness, as well as the inability to explain the world which is not working as in the womens mags always is said. Poor little puppets …

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At 4:27 AM, k-dog said…

You must wonder how many women hear this baloney about men wanting to marry someone like mom, thereby influencing their behavior toward their husbands after marriage. I seem to see and hear a lot about husbands who need their wives’ permission to go anywhere without the wife, to spend money on themselves, to visit their parents, to see male friends, etc., etc. These are proper for a mother to do with a young child, but certainly not for a wife with her husband.

But for that matter, I’ve seen men give up hobbies and activities they really enjoyed because after getting married the wife didn’t like the money or the time—especially the time—he spent on the activity. If the money or the time spent on the hobby is excessive, it’s understandable, but in the instances I’ve been aware of this does not seem to have been the case.

One coworker years ago had a couple of old cars he had bought and renovated: a 1930s sedan (I don’t wish to identify the car further) and a rare 9-passenger 1950s station wagon (same here). Keep in mind he had completed the work on the cars, so all he had to do was drive and enjoy them. After he got married, his wife pushed him to sell the cars almost immediately, so he did and abandoned his automotive hobby. (Last I knew, he was working two jobs to pay “their”—her—bills from before he married her. Oh, and she had two children from her previous relationship, and that guy was in jail and not paying any child support. Same old story, same old song and dance.)

I bought a 1980s Japanese pickup cheap in this same way from a man who had had it as his “toy” truck. He drove it to work, tinkered with it, etc. It was obvious from his wife’s behavior when I gave him the cash for the truck that she was pleased he was selling it (and I suspect she probably received at least some of the cash). Another male family member who was with me noticed the same thing about the wife, so it wasn’t my imagination.

And this gets back to one adult dictating what another adult does as a mother would a child. Barring extreme circumstances, why should any male, or any adult, have to put up with this? Duncan is right: men don’t want to marry their mothers—just the opposite.

About Maureen Dowd and her worthless column, a few years ago I attended a luncheon sponsored by a daily newspaper. A senior editor said that that paper had dropped her column some months before, paraphrasing, because it had originally been the “flavor of the week”, and Dowd had quickly run out of original things to say. Har har. I get another daily paper that still carries her column, and I can assure the readers of the first paper that they aren’t missing much. Skip Dowd’s writings every chance you get.

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At 7:33 AM, Ken Shabby said…

Every time I come to your blog you knock it out of the park.

Outstanding post.

Hoisting a “lovely can of beer” for you now.

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At 1:16 PM, Anonymous said…

k-dog, I HAD a friend just like you describe who met a spoiled little princess and got blindsided by love(lust). Typical “nice guy” with low confidence who handed his nuts to his wife in a jar before he got married or so it seems.

Sold his minty 1970 Olds 4-4-2 musclecar to buy his wife an Acura (which will be worth jack in the future cuz who will collect old Acuras for cripes sake?)

Sold off bass boat to make room in the garage for her Acura.

Before marriage he had to move gun collection from safe in bedroom to safe in the attic because they made her “nervous” Now he has to get rid of them altogether because a baby is on the way and she doesn’t want guns in the same house with a baby. Makes no sense how unloaded guns in a locked safe in the attic will hurt a newborn but hormonal pregnant women never do make sense.

Cashed in 401K retirement with 20% government early withdrawal penalties plus 20% income tax to add “Baby Room” to the house. He now gets to work until death.

Has to ask (beg) permission to go out with the guys just to fish or watch sports but she gets a “girls night out” once a month with her slutty single friends at the local meat market where she gets to dirty dance with drunk players and thugs trying to get into her panties. He is not comfortable with “girls night out” but won’t stand up to her because she says she needs a night of “freedom” once in a while or she’ll go crazy (she already is). He is hoping she stops going out after the baby is born, I told him not to bet on it, he will just be the free babysitter on those nights.

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At 2:48 PM, tba said…

I’m sorry but I gotta blame the “men” from the stories I’ve read above. How the Hell are u gonna have some dumb chick tell you what do to with your objects of affection that you spent SO MUCH money on to maintain and enjoy??? And how is any man allowing his wife to dictate when are where he is going to hang out with his friends while she gets to have “girls night out” regardless of how the husband feels.

SOME MEN HAVE NO SELF-RESPECT.

Just because some chick gives you some ass (regardless of whether or not u were getting some before) does NOT mean that you should let her CUT YOUR BALLS OFF!!

I bet in each of the cases there were signs that the woman was a toxic, control freak but that the man hoped things would be different after marriage. As evil as these women are, I blame the so-called men for NOT standing up for their dignity and MANHOOD.

Maybe these guys weren’t looking for a mother in their wives, but they CERTAINLY weren’t looking for “help-mate”, nor were they looking for someone to respect them as men.

I need to throw up!!!!

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At 5:14 PM, dan said…

Another popular fembot argument I hear all the time, concerning battered women, is how they “just can’t help themselves” they have to be with Mr. Billy Badass who slaps her around, treats her like shit, cheats on her, impregnates her and then ditches, ect. They don’t go out with nice guys because of what the COUNCIL (ie – faily, friends, work, school, society in general,) think of her. The “experts” blame it on pheromones and primordial instinct buncha bullshit – THEY CHOOSE TO BE WITH ASSHOLES and then some nice guys choose to pick up the leftovers. Oh sure, there are SOME natural traits we all possess – I like Spanish women because – aside from the great features most of them have, many of them are very family oriented and SHOULD – I stress the word should, make excellent wives and mothers IMO. However, I learned the hard way that Puerto Rican women are (mostly) worse than American and Brittish women in terms of self-centeredness, feminism, and the like. Also, sadly, many Central and South American Women, when they come to the USA, get “Americanized” and then – forget about it! Ultimately, I don’t HAVE to have a Spanish woman – not if all it causes is grief and disappointment. So these women also have a choice to resist the “instinctive” traits but they don’t because of the COUNCIL.
The only way they can really win the ol’ “I’m just following my instincts” argument is to say they’re born with total depravity and to argue we all are! They “just can’t help what they do and are just doing what comes ‘naturally’.” By that logic, they just excused all murderers, rapists, pedophiles, thieves, because, after all, they can’t help themselves either. More feminist crap than I can digest.

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At 8:33 PM, Anonymous said…

>>Otherwise we’d probably just eat sweets for every meal, play carelessly near busy roads, or try to answer the age-old question of whether the light goes out in a refrigerator when the door is shut by climbing inside one and ordering a mate to shut the door after us, or some other dumb shit.

WTF??? I don’t get it. What’s wrong with all that fun stuff?

Anonymous age 65

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At 8:34 PM, Anonymous said…

Typical American beauty.

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At 9:16 PM, Anonymous said…

When a man sells his stuff after marriage to help get his family started, is he actually doing anything wrong or is the real issue the fact that most women have wasted all their money and have nothing of their own to sell?

Of course, if that is the case, then the man still shouldn’t sell his stuff and really shouldn’t have married such a spendthrift in the first place.

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At 1:38 AM, k-dog said…

TBA, I blame the men to a great degree too. But you must admit that today’s women have a hell of a lot of nerve to demand that their husbands get rid of things that they enjoyed. This behavior seems to be nearly universal.

It becomes much like a mother hectoring a wayward boy for having a collection of icky frogs and caterpillars, which returns us to Duncan’s topic—only instead of icky frogs and caterpillars, it’s icky automobiles, guns, collections, hobbies, friends, etc. And these wives get away with it because men realize only after tying the knot what kind of mistake they just made, and what kind of cost they face to get out of it. The men’s only realistic option is to maintain the “peace”, such as it is, by obeying “mommy’s” orders to divest themselves of things and activities.

Women all seem to behave this way, and it appears that many do hide this trait until after marriage. Some probably gave some warnings that the fiancee ignored, but others change like Dr. Jekyll turning into Mr. Hyde after the big ceremony. Nomarriage.com gives examples of women who changed dramatically for the worse after the wedding.

And that reminds me of another point to the claim that Duncan slams: most mothers don’t have sex with their sons. The wife behaving more and more like a mother toward her husband probably explains why sex in most Western marriages fades out rather quickly. If you’re treating him like a child, why would you want to have sex with him? That goes back to the old joke: Q. What food kills all sexual desire in women forever? A. Wedding cake.

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At 3:14 AM, Mike said…

There was a feminist on TV here the other night, during a documentary talking about the rise of women and the possibility that it has has come at the cost of men.
Well my God, you should have seen her, no wonder these aging swamp-donkey’s aren’t getting married.
Pudding bowl haircut, Marmite jars for glasses and a deep voice.
Yeah man, that’s really what I’m after.

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At 3:15 AM, Mike said…

In a nutshell, Duncan, your comment above summed it all up:
We don’t want that crap.

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At 6:59 AM, phoenix said…

I have no sympathy for the men that wind up in bad marriages. I’m sure in some cases it was completely unexpected, but let’s be honest, 99% of the time it really wasn’t. There are so few good women out there, I think I’ve met perhaps a grand total of two in my life, but they stand out if you do meet them. Arrogance and self-centeredness is easy to see. It just depends on how the girl speaks, her attitudes, and what she chooses to talk about. A woman will blow any illusion she is trying to construct within 5 minutes, as long as you are not a moron. But men are, for the majority, morons. Mencken is write when he writes about the average man being so stupid and inferior to women. It’s the exceptional man that realizes the way things really are, but by definition that is a small percentage. I think most of us in the MRA movement are clearly of the exceptional type, a lot of us are labeled “toxic bachelors” which more or less implies a higher level of intelligence because of the success achieved, or the talent that is apparent. I don’t think we should feel any sympathy anymore, instead, I think Duncan and others are better off pointing out the stupidity of the average Western male, and laughing at him. I know that’s the feeling I have these days.

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At 7:41 AM, Christopher in Oregon said…

K-dog is correct when he blames men at least partly for our present dilemma. If men had the balls to control their sexual urges and just say NO to women as I have done all of these years, then women would lose the battle.

But, most men are weak, pussy-whipped and cowardly, not to mention disloyal. I no longer feel much pity for the men I see being raked over the coals in divorce courts. They knew.

Screw the fools.

If any man is stupid enough to get involved with a woman today, he truly deserves what he gets.

Stupidity deserves to be rewarded accordingly.

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At 3:42 PM, Peregrine John said…

Projection all the way. And worse, she’ll try to become her own mother whether you want her to or not, just because she has some idiotic idea that she should.

My sad tale of this one would be pointless and predictable in this knowledgeable group. Suffice to say that she was told not to, did anyway, and is rapidly running out of time.

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At 5:12 PM, tba said…

Women all seem to behave this way, and it appears that many do hide this trait until after marriage. Some probably gave some warnings that the fiancee ignored, but others change like Dr. Jekyll turning into Mr. Hyde after the big ceremony. Nomarriage.com gives examples of women who changed dramatically for the worse after the wedding.

K-dog, in this situation I ONE HUNDRED PERCENT AGREE. My point is that, if you’re in a toxic relationship with a girl GET OUT. Don’t ask her to marry you. If there are red flags don’t assume it will get better after marriage.

I know of so many of my friends who were going out with a chick and she didn’t treat him with respect and yet they still remained with her until she broke it off.
In my past relationships, I’ve ALWAYS been the one to break off the relationship accept for ONE time and that was ONLY because she beat me to it. I hate the heck out of her for denying the pleasure of breaking up with her.

One thing I’ve recognized is that i am INFINITELY much happier alone than in a relationship. If a chick did or said something i didn’t like i CONFRONTED her about it.

I remember a friend of mine whose girlfriend would always berate him in front of everyone and he would just sit there looking down on the ground quiet. CRAP LIKE THAT PISSES ME OFF.

Women have their “take back the night”. Well here is a quote for all men- ESPECIALLY nice guys, manginas:

“TAKE BACK YOUR BALLS”.

In Jekyl and Hyde cases where the woman was angel before marriage and a devil afterward, I TRULY sympathize with these men and their plight. But those who do nothing BEFORE marriage when they had a chance are despicable.

All that being said, women who presume to know what is “GOOD” for a man are truly horrid creatures. Dumb chick, what makes you think you know what is good for man? You who do not know how to stomp on a cockroach without the aid of a man? If anything, ur bf/husband ought to be telling you what to do.

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At 5:23 PM, tba said…

But, most men are weak, pussy-whipped and cowardly, not to mention disloyal.

this, more than anything else pisses me off about men. Stand up for your dignity.

And that men would help a woman cheat on their boyfriend or husband is truy outrageous. I mean, whatever happened to “bros before hos”. And these men pat themselves on their backs for being able to “pull” a married woman. Sick indeed.

You know I just had a thought- in order to get a lot of women, to some extent you have act womanly. that is why players are like women in that they are disloyal to their brethren and they MANIPULATE their way to bring women in bed- like a woman would do.

Phoenix I agree. I know only of three women in my whole life that I have respect for (outside of mom.) One is happily married. The other two, are virgins and devoted Christians BUT aren’t that far away from being corrupted by a player. That doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be able to resist, just that even the good women are not far away from behaving like the typical female.

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At 1:52 AM, Kumogakure said…

The womenfolks have been brainwashed all to hell, but they know in their heart of hearts what Men really want.

A woman, if she is to carry the last name, has gotta bring some skills to the table!

Look. My (Japanese) wife cooks, cleans, irons, and gives the Kidd excellent service (if you know what I mean) AND has a four year degree in Political Science.

So we can have intelligent conversations while she is preparing tomorrow’s lunch for me to take to work.

My female co-workers hate her… because they know they are outclassed all the way around.

But I just laugh at em. Let them eat cake!

Until the Western Women figure out that they are better off studying Home Economics than Women’s studies, they can expect a long, bitter, and single existence.

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At 8:10 PM, Bekah said…

Ouch. You know I can understand why you guys are so bitter, cause honestly if she treats you like shit – get out of the relationship! I love my boyfriend, and don’t see any reason in pressuring him into marriage. I have a college degree and a good job. My point? We aren’t all brainwashed sluts.

Also, I do make him food, give him time with his friends, and ‘service the Kidd’. Perhaps most women need to realize that a happy boyfriend is a good one.

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