The Onion article


07 May 2007

Women Now Empowered By Everything A Woman Does

According to a study released Monday, women—once empowered primarily via the assertion of reproductive rights or workplace equality with men—are now empowered by virtually everything the typical woman does.


Other acts of empowerment include gossiping about the sexual proclivities of male acquaintances, lunching with other women in small groups, taking calcium-rich antacid tablets, and reading The Nanny Diaries.

The study also cites the act of pumping one’s raised fist in a gesture of female solidarity against the oppressive forces of air pressure.

“Nearly 90 percent of study participants have done this at least once in their lives, often accompanying their action with the exhortation ‘You go, girl!’ or, simply, ‘Whooooooo!'” Klein said.

Although satirical, this article is actually pretty close to the truth.

posted by Duncan Idaho @ 9:25 PM


At 9:34 PM, Darrell said…

i picked this up from
type in “she invented” in google you will get did you mean “he invented” but when you do it vice-versa you get no such prompt….lol….something further to enrage the fembots


At 10:01 PM, Peregrine John said…

It’s kind of disturbing when satire is indistinguishable from factual reporting.


At 2:08 AM, Bruce said…

Two other recent articles from The Onion:

How Can I Use Feminism To My Advantage?

Who’s A Girl Gotta Fuck To Get Some Closure On Her Relationship With Her Father?

Satirical yet so true…


At 2:51 AM, Egghead said…

That entire article is hysterically funny!


At 8:53 AM, Anonymous said…


I emailed the onion for a commentary email address? I do not think that they have one.


At 12:52 PM, Anonymous said…

ok…i died laughing at the onion article…but…i have trouble calling it satire. from personal experience it seemed rather on the mark.

also…check out this bbc article released today.

sir patrick Moore blames women for ‘banal’ TV

i imagine some feminist will write a response for tomorrows news calling him an “old fashioned, behind the times member of the patriarchy”

whereas anyone with a brain agrees that tv is pretty much crap.


At 4:49 PM, Anonymous said…

So funny. I would like more articles like these.

The best way to react to an absurd position (like feminism) is not to discuss it (this gives it dignity) but to satirize it (showing that it is ridicule).


At 9:47 PM, mfsob said…

The Onion IS satire, right? Right? But in this case …


At 1:45 AM, dan said…

Here, in the US we hear that “empowerment” crap all the time FROM women, ABOUT women. The average “empowered” woman wakes up in a bed, manufactured by men, in a house built by men, next to a husband who makes it possible for her to have a nice house, gets in her car made by men (bought by her husband), drives on a road paved by men, to her place of work, constructed by men,sits at her desk, made by men, works on a computer designed by men, spews her garbage about how evil and worthless men are to her fembot coworkers and manginas.

Satire?! Behind every joke is a little truth, and in this case alot. Women today are proud to call themselves “bitch.” Therefore I am promoting the fembots to the status of “asshole.” These women don’t feel so empowered when we won’t have anything more to do with the sluts. Great Article – showing the snakes’ true stripes though!



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